Why Dream Clients Choose One Coach Over Another

Kris: [00:00:00] Adam Roach, I am so happy to have you here today. You have an incredible business helping coaches, and actually a really beautiful podcast too.

Kris: And I'm just so happy to have you here on the show, and I have just a lot of [00:00:15] excitement around giving our listeners value today. So welcome.

Adam: Well, Kris, thank you for having me. Excited to be here. Excited to share value to your listeners and be a part of the Red Door story. This is, I'm excited for this. I've looked forward to this all week, and here we are. It's game [00:00:30] time.

Kris: Here we are. It's game time. Here we go. So tell me, how do you serve your clients and your people?

Adam: Well, I wanna back up a little bit, because this coaching space, when it comes to serving, I personally [00:00:45] believe, and again, all this is just gonna be my belief, thought process, and experience, is in the coaching space we have to have a calling towards it, right?

Adam: We really have to have a calling towards it. I've had many, many [00:01:00] amazing coaches in my life. I almost feel naked if I don't have a coach somewhere in my world. My father was an Olympic swim coach, and so I'd been around coaching my entire life, but I didn't know I was around coaching. I played collegiate tennis.

Adam: I tried my hand at [00:01:15] professional tennis and found out real quick I was an American, not a European. I was getting my butt kicked all the time, and so that was not a good profession for me. So the coaching space, where we sit right now, is [00:01:30] truly a calling of mine. And what we have inside the coaching community is what we call our REAL coach method, and R-E-A-L is not an arrogant term.

Adam: I've been under the coaching and mentoring of John Maxwell for the last 12, 15 years, and he helped me establish this, because I kept sharing with him when I was [00:01:45] writing the white paper on this community about seven years ago that, "John, I wanted to really be around like-minded people. I wanted to serve people who are serving other people."

Adam: I just didn't know how to articulate it. And he says, "Okay. Well, what do you want?" I was like, "I just wanna be around a bunch of real [00:02:00] people." He's like, "Ah, there it is." And so we established the REAL coach method, and REAL is an acronym that stands for Relevant, Experiential, Authentic Leaders.

Adam: Because we believe that every coach should be a real [00:02:15] coach. And the leader part is probably one of the most important parts outside of the authentic part. Because what does a leader do? Kris, we know a leader is someone who influences people, but influences them for what? Influences them for hopefully the action that they will take towards their desired [00:02:30] outcome.

Adam: So that's a little bit about who I am and what I do, and why I love to serve coaches is because they get to have an impact on so many other people.

Kris: Yeah, I agree. I agree. I relate to that, and I love working with [00:02:45] coaches, consultants, advisors, because they're the ones boots on the ground making the world a better place one client at a time. And it's just so inspiring to be around people that are doing work that they're truly called to do, and that's really in [00:03:00] alignment with their own purpose. So I get it.

Adam: Yeah, for sure.

Kris: Yeah.

Adam: Well, you know, it was interesting because my father passed in 2019. And as I was speaking his eulogy, I looked over the crowd, and there's 400 or 500 people there, and I saw athletes, I saw other coaches, I saw parents, I saw [00:03:15] just a whole group of people. And what I realized was, whoa, this is kind of one of those, hey, write your life story, write what someone's gonna read about you when you die.

Adam: He was in his 60s, and he died from Parkinson's-related issues. And I thought to myself, "This is what [00:03:30] John has been trying to tell me all these years, is you can have success and/or you can have significance. But you can't just have success, because it's a dead end. You will hit the end of the road with success.

Adam: Success has a start and a stop. [00:03:45] Significance though," Adam, he would say, "is something that's finite. You can go create a legacy around significance." Because what does legacy need? Its root word is legs, and so it needs legs, it needs people, it needs momentum to keep going. He [00:04:00] says, "Now, don't get me wrong."

Adam: He says, "Success and significance can go hand in hand, but if you step into a space of wanting to have significance to help other people, to go have significance, success will follow."

Kris: Yeah. I get that. Yeah, really kind of heart-driven. [00:04:15]

Adam: Yeah. Yeah. Calling, right? Yeah. It's the calling. And it's what are you feeling called to do?

Adam: And I say this in keynote speeches all the time, is we all have success in past containers. I call them containers, right? And though sometimes sitting in those containers [00:04:30] we're going, "Whoa, I'm having success, but there's an itch over there that I don't know why I need to scratch it," right?

Adam: And sometimes we say the grass isn't always greener on the other side, but I've had that itch now two or three times in my life, and every time I scratch it, significance shows up even [00:04:45] greater.

Kris: Mm.

Adam: Right? I mean, I can go all the way back to my 20s when I was a tennis pro in Beverly Hills. It was fantastic.

Adam: I owned part of the company. Why would anyone wanna get out of that role? But something was itching me, right? Something continued to itch me. And then I got into the real [00:05:00] estate business, and I got into business brokerage ownership, and it was great. Lifestyle was great. We had a SaaS company. We had a software company.

Adam: Lifestyle was fantastic, but there was still another itch. And sometimes we don't scratch that itch for fear of [00:05:15] what? Of losing the success, or having to restart or start over, and there's many things that happen along those ways. And gosh, I just love talking to people who actually take that leap of faith, because sometimes you just gotta jump the fence.

Adam: You just gotta jump the fence.

Kris: Totally. Yeah, I [00:05:30] mean, I think those little nudges or those itches are there as a guide for us to follow. Otherwise, they wouldn't be there. And there are all kinds of ways to dip your toe into that itch without, you know, quitting your job or [00:05:45] completely abandoning your current income. So tell me a story about a client of yours that was doing one thing and had an itch and followed it, and what happened?

Adam: Oh, I have such a great story here. So [00:06:00] 2021, so mind you, in 2019, I had three brokerage franchises that I owned. We had an incredible software company that was running, and when my father passed, I had an [00:06:15] itch, right?

Adam: We call it the beach chair moment. So I came back here to Charleston. I sat on the beach and I was a spiritual guy, so I took my Bible, took my journal, and sat there, prayed, cried more, and kept sunscreen on my bald head and just was like, "Tell me, where do I go next," right? And I had many, many things come to me in [00:06:30] that time.

Adam: And so I sold everything. I sold everything, right? So I was not dipping my toe. I was jumping the fence, and I didn't know what was on the other side of it, but I knew I needed to surround myself with different people. So I started in the simple one-on-one [00:06:45] coaching space, very simply, and we call it the proximity space, right?

Adam: So when you're launching your business, proximity is gonna be the fastest way for you to keep the lights on. That's what we say, "Let's just keep the lights on before you go into your process or your peers," the other two Ps. And I [00:07:00] realized that during COVID that poor people were a little messy, right?

Adam: Their lives were a little bit messy. And so I thought to myself, it's towards the end of the year, I'm gonna throw, instead of a business planning clinic, I'm gonna throw a whole life [00:07:15] planning event. Now, COVID had kinda shut everything down, but here in Charleston, they kept some things open. And I knew a guy who had just sold a commercial real estate property on the water here, and it literally was falling into the water.

Adam: But I said, "Hey, do you mind if I use your place?" And he's like, "No, go ahead and use it. [00:07:30] Just if you fall in, just don't blame me." I was like, "Okay, fine." So I had about 30 people come to it, and it was fantastic. We had different speakers in different genres, and I did that event for seven years in a row, to the point where John Maxwell was coming to these events, and I had some of the who's who really coming to these events. [00:07:45]

Adam: Okay, so my answer to the question. So in 2021, I'm running one of these events, and I was working with a guy in the mortgage space at that time because he wanted me to help him build his mortgage business. And he was sitting in the front of the room. He came to the event. It's called the Whole Life Planning Summit. [00:08:00]

Adam: And he taps me afterwards. He had an itch. And he said, "Hey, I wanna do what those speakers are doing." Now, he's a big guy, probably 6'4". He has one arm, right? So he came from a troubled background. He says, "I wanna do what those guys are doing." [00:08:15] I said, "Okay. What do you wanna do?"

Adam: And he said, "I wanna speak." I said, "What do you wanna speak on?" He says, "I don't know yet, but I'm feeling called towards it." I said, "Unfortunately, I already have all of my speakers booked for next year, but if someone backs out, I'll tap you." He says, "Okay." I said, "Well, what do you wanna speak on?"

Adam: He says, "I don't know, but I wanna do it." [00:08:30] Now, mind you, these were big events. I mean, people were paying serious money to come to these events. And so 2021 comes, and kid you not, literally a little blip in the universe happened, and there was a hurricane [00:08:45] coming through Florida which stopped one of my speakers from coming, and it was 48 hours before my event, and I was like, "Uh-oh."

Adam: I was like, "Oh, remember." And so I tapped him. I said, "Hey, if you're ready, it's game time." And he says, "Okay, I'll be ready." So he shows up. He does a good [00:09:00] job. Bless his heart, he had a North Carolina color blue suit on, and he was sweating through that thing, and he's not a little man, so everyone could see he was a little nervous.

Adam: He gets offstage, and Kris, he says this to me: "That was it. [00:09:15] That's what I wanna do." I was like, "What do you wanna do?" He says, "I wanna keynote speak. I wanna do this." And I'm thinking to myself, "You were awful. You shouldn't do this." But he really wasn't awful. He did a good job. We had about 275 people at that one event.

Adam: And so, you know, he had made an [00:09:30] impact. I said, "Okay, here's what I want you to do. I want you to go write 10 names down of people that you think that you wanna be like in that space and we'll have a conversation." So he comes to the next coaching call, and he made a list. But he made a list of, like, A+ people.

Adam: Ed Mylett, [00:09:45] Nick Saban, John Maxwell, Dan Martell, and he's listened to all these people. I says, "Okay, great. What are you gonna do to introduce yourself to these people?" He says, "Well, I'm gonna learn from them." "Great. What are you gonna do?" He says, "Well, I realized, I went on their social media, I looked them up, most of them like Jordans," [00:10:00] like the shoes.

Adam: I said, "Okay, great. What are you gonna do?" He says, "Well, I'm gonna send them all one shoe with a note inside that says, 'If you give me 15 minutes of your time, I'll send you the other shoe.'" And I'm thinking to myself, "What have I got myself into with this guy?" [00:10:15] And he does it. Now, here was the cool part.

Adam: At that time, I was personally coaching with Dan Martell. He was my coach. And I'm up in Kelowna, British Columbia, and I'm telling him this story, and he's like, "Wait." And I said, "What?" And he goes, "I just got [00:10:30] one of those shoes in the mail." I said, "You did? What'd you do with it?" He goes, "I sent it back.

Adam: I don't even like Jordans." I was like, "Wait, wait. Stop, stop. The guy's with me. Will you just give him 15 minutes of your time?" He said yes. Okay. So fast-forward now. It's 2026, and this was 2021, 2022. He sold his [00:10:45] mortgage company. He sold his mortgage company. He went full time into the speaking. He is now, quote-unquote, "an adversity expert," right?

Adam: He's done a TED Talk. He's published a book on the one Jordan, how to connect with high performing individuals, that is an [00:11:00] international bestseller now. And not only does he do keynote speaking, he now coaches in the adversity space on how to overcome adversity. He has a group. He has one-on-one clients, and he's doing incredible.

Kris: Amazing.

Adam: And we led him all the way [00:11:15] through that process because he was just a mortgage guy. That's all he knew, but he got an itch. He stepped into it, and he's now literally impacting the world.

Kris: How did he navigate and figure out his niche for [00:11:30] adversity? And, like, how did that unfold?

Kris: Because I think that's one of the biggest things that people hit, like, exactly what you asked. Like, what are you gonna talk about? And you have to start somewhere, even though you know it's very likely you're gonna [00:11:45] pivot and, I like to think of it more like sailing, or like continuing to hone, hone, hone, hone.

Kris: And I'm curious, like, how he landed there. Like, what did he initially talk about and then...

Adam: Well, you've probably experienced this before with maybe coaches that you've [00:12:00] served or worked with, is when a coach comes into the coaching world or the serving world, or whatever you wanna call it, they usually bring their last container that they were in as their expertise, right?

Adam: So in his case, it was the mortgage world. So when he got up to give his first [00:12:15] keynote, it was about money, right? It was about the understanding of money. And I could sense that he was loving the speaking, but that was not really what his calling was. And so as we started to develop [00:12:30] this identity, because that's what it really is, we are usually inauthentic around our true natural self when we step into the coaching space, because we think our value add comes from the last container that we were in.

Adam: [00:12:45] And that's not true. It is partially true, but that's not your identity, right? What is your identity? We have an equation that we use, that we go through it to help identify that identity, but what we have to identify first is what is your pose? Because we all have a pose, [00:13:00] right? And his pose was, "I'm successful.

Adam: I'm a performance-driven dude. I have one arm, but I'm also 6'5" and I can steamroll you if I need to." And I was like, "Okay, that's not going to last, and you're definitely not gonna attract people with that." Now, excuse the [00:13:15] language, but I was like, "Dude, you need to use that one-arm stuff more," right? And he's like, "What do you mean?"

Kris: When you use the word pose, what do you mean by that?

Adam: Yeah, a pose, P-O-S-E.

Kris: Yeah.

Adam: So we are in a position where we think we need to be something that we're not.

Kris: Got it.

Adam: Right? [00:13:30] We think we need to be, in his language, his pose was, "I need to be the best mortgage coach that I can be, because I've been in that space for the last 12 years.

Adam: I own my own business. We did millions of dollars in sales," and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, right?

Kris: Got it.

Adam: But that [00:13:45] wasn't his real identity where he could serve people. Where he could serve people was, "I was born from a heroin addict mother," right? "I am 6'5"." He calls it a limb difference. "I have a limb difference."

Adam: "And I will [00:14:00] achieve and succeed at anything and all things that I do." And so what he realized was his entire life he had fought adversity, right? Whether that was playing baseball or whether that was being a kid with one arm growing up or whether that was selling [00:14:15] cars, he had always overcome adversity.

Adam: And so he has this incredible TED Talk speech now, and visual, where he has what's called the adversity backpack theory, that we all carry an adversity backpack. The question is, what do we keep inside that [00:14:30] backpack that'll either help us or become an anchor?

Kris: Oh, right.

Adam: And it's really powerful. Really, really powerful. So what did he do, though? He had to step into this space of who is he really, right? Who is he really and who does he really want to serve? Because as [00:14:45] Rory Vaden says it so powerfully, we're most powerfully positioned to serve the person who we used to be, right? And that is so true.

Adam: That's not the container that you just came from. Because we all have unique, powerfully positioned to be the person, or to serve the person we used to be. We all have so many [00:15:00] problem solution cycles, as I call them, that we can serve so many people with. The question is, which ones do you have passion around that you wanna go help other people and coach them through?

Adam: And that's what he did. He found his passion in the space of adversity. He found his passion in watching people, as he was [00:15:15] coaching them, overcome and achieve whatever they desired, and he just stepped in that lane. Oh, I just love the guy.

Kris: Does it, many times, does finding that purpose go back to your childhood?

Adam: So the equation that we [00:15:30] use is answering that question yes, right? And this is deep work. And what I mean by deep work is any coach that comes into our community, no one works for Adam Roach, no one works for the company. We are a community of coaching. [00:15:45] It is a community.

Adam: And we have a framework that we use, and it's called the blueprint, the REAL Coaching Blueprint. And again, not arrogant, relevant, experiential, authentic leader. And phase one is going in before you go out. And so that [00:16:00] equation that we work on is, to answer your question, you've gotta identify your wound.

Adam: That's step number one. Right? Inside of that equation, the W is wound. The next letter is L for lie. This is the lie you've told yourself.

Kris: Mm. [00:16:15]

Adam: The third letter is V or vow. V-O-W. So it goes wound, what was your wound? What was the lie? What was the vow? So W plus L plus V equals pose.

Kris: [00:16:30] Mm.

Adam: Equals your pose.

Kris: But the pose is what you don't wanna be. The pose is kinda the fake version of you, the poser version, right?

Adam: That's right, because you are posing to cover up your lie.

Kris: Ah.

Adam: I'll give you an example. This was mine. [00:16:45] So when I went through this, I was at an event, a big kinda like a men's hike of sorts.

Adam: And my facilitator that was helping me through this was like, "Okay, because we're gonna talk about your dad." And I love my dad. And gosh, what a great role model he [00:17:00] was. But he said, "Let me ask you a question. Was he a passive dad or an active dad?" I said, "Well, I don't think I understand the difference."

Adam: And he says, "Well, passive dad, as it comes to being the leader, is someone that just kinda leads by example. An active dad is like, 'Sit down, son, let me tell you something.'" [00:17:15] Right? It's like, okay, my dad was definitely a passive dad. "Okay, cool. And where did your dad get his validation from?" he asked me.

Adam: I was like, "I don't think I understand that question again." He said, "Well, was it through the family? Was it through the church? Was it through his accomplishments?" I was like, "Oh, definitely his accomplishments." He said, "What would make you say that?" I said, "Because you couldn't go into my dad's office [00:17:30] and not see five, six, seven, 10, 12 magazine covers that he had been on, or the big old hall of fame of coaching, or the hall of fame of water skiing, right?

Adam: This was my dad." And he's like, "Oh, okay, good." I was like, "Yeah, it was really cool." He said, "But what lie did you tell yourself about that?" It's like, oh, I had to sit [00:17:45] with it for a second, because I didn't know. But I did. And I had created this lie, Kris, that was I was inadequate. I couldn't live up to that.

Adam: Right? Now, it was self-imposed. He didn't come down and say, "Son, you'll never be as good as me." No, he never said that. But it was something that [00:18:00] I looked at, that I strived to want to be, but boy, I was setting myself up, because that's not where I was. I wasn't in that lane. So the vow that I created, Kris, was, "I will win at everything.

Adam: I will accomplish. I will seek. I will destroy. I will just go [00:18:15] get it done." And the pose that I created was I was performance-driven. That was it.

Adam: I was 100% performance-driven. And I sold it my entire life. That's when John had to say, "Dude, you are success-driven."

Kris: Yeah.

Adam: I was like, "Yeah, of course I [00:18:30] am."

Adam: "That's not who you are. You are significant. You bring value to people. It's okay to have success and significance, but you better have them both together."

Kris: Right.

Adam: I was like, "Ooh, thanks for being that coach, coach."

Kris: Gosh. Can you [00:18:45] imagine, like, what a difference that conversation would make in your 30s, 40s, or 50s, versus in your very elderly years, right?

Kris: Because people take that [00:19:00] on, and unless somebody actively helps them unravel that, you just keep on going with that whole thinking.

Adam: And something feels off. Our listeners to this right now, Kris, know that something feels off.

Kris: Yeah. Yeah.

Adam: Something feels off. And that's [00:19:15] probably part of it.

Kris: And so after you had that conversation with him, you had a light bulb go off. You had an awareness. You were able to see what you couldn't see before.

Adam: Yes.

Kris: And just that, I think, is the beginning [00:19:30] of unraveling that. What do you do next after that? How do you unwind that whole belief structure?

Kris: Because it informs every area of your life and probably every relationship too.

Adam: Well, I had to come [00:19:45] back, because when I looked at the white paper that I wrote for my community, was, you know, to have such a large amount of coaches to strive for this greatness, to be on this magazine cover.

Adam: I actually wrote that in the white paper. I was like, "Well, nope, that's not what we're [00:20:00] gonna do. That's not what we're going to do. We're not gonna go turn on the ad machine and attract every Tom, Dick, and Sally out there. We're going to find those who we can serve." Right? This is not gonna be something that I'm going to [00:20:15] build and then exit.

Adam: You know, I've done that in the past. This is something that I want to build. And so I built the vision statement for the community around that, and that is to empower coaches. That's not just me. That's the entire co-op. I mean, [00:20:30] that's all the coaches that are inside there, is to empower each other.

Adam: So to empower coaches to change and serve 100 million people. Now, where did that number come from? That was part of my beach chair, right? That was part of my beach chair moment where, again, being a spiritual guy, God laid that upon me. [00:20:45] And it's funny because I went home and I went to my pastor and I was like, "Hey, these are the things that I'm hearing, and this number."

Adam: I was like, "Do you think he wants me to make $100 million?" No, that's probably not what he's asking you to do. But that truly is the vision statement, to empower coaches to change and serve 100 million people through the REAL Coach method. [00:21:00] And Kris, it's happening. Right? We've been blessed to be on four continents now.

Adam: I don't know how we're going to measure the 100 million, and quite frankly, I don't care, because that's not what I'm focused on. I'm focused on finding the right who. So when you unravel that, [00:21:15] what it starts to do is expose really something that has nothing to do with any outside environment, but you're feeling from the inside.

Kris: Yep.

Adam: And when you find someone who finds that on the inside, his Instagram account went from like, I don't know, [00:21:30] 2,000 followers to I think he's probably... I don't know where he is right now, but he's probably approaching 100,000 followers simply because his message lands with those that he intends to serve.

Adam: He's not selling anything to anybody.

Kris: Right.

Adam: He's serving them.

Kris: Right. Yeah. [00:21:45] Yeah, yeah, it's so true. I think all coaches and consultants really, that's the underlying intention. But sometimes it can get clouded up by upbringing, beliefs, drive, whatever. So [00:22:00] I'm curious, because you started out with one-on-one coaching.

Kris: When you got into this work, you did one-on-one coaching. Do you still do one-on-one coaching or, my bigger question is, like, how did you transition from one-on-one to maybe group to [00:22:15] community? How did that all unfold?

Adam: Yeah, great question. Well, I'll share with you my belief system around this, is as what I've written inside of this blueprint, which by the way, I don't know if this is a video podcast or an audio, but I mean, this is [00:22:30] version eight of it right here, so it is a consistent... I mean, I'm just constantly breaking it and building it and breaking it and building it. Because what I've watched is, after they go through phase one, which is the inside out phase, we take them into phase two. [00:22:45]

Adam: Some people are leaving survivor jobs and wanting to go into the coaching space. Okay, great. So what I suggest they do in phase two is let's go find, when you identify your own unique problem solution cycle, [00:23:00] we help you identify what's called your payoff, okay? Because here's the thing, no one cares about Adam, no one cares about Kris.

Adam: They care about themselves and getting to the desired outcome that they want to, and if our problem solution cycle can fix that, great. So the one-on-one space in phase two, what we say is let's just go find 10 [00:23:15] one-on-ones. You can charge them whatever you want to. We'll suggest you charge them $1,500 for the month, and that'll get you to $15,000 a month.

Adam: That'll get you $180,000 of ARR, and that should keep your lights on. But that's not your business, right? That's just a sustainable approach to start. [00:23:30] But once you're inside of that one-on-one space, hopefully your avatar is similar, right? So you're not gonna teach someone how to be a painter and you're not gonna teach someone how to be a mechanic, right?

Adam: That's two different avatars. We don't wanna play in that space. Right. [00:23:45] What we wanna play in is what can you develop with your one-on-ones into what we call a process? Because the process will eventually identify the payoff that your soon-to-be avatars will pay for. [00:24:00] And we call it the 1/10th rule, and I'll get to that in a second.

Adam: So once we identify, as you're going through phase two, that you now have a cash flow that is sustainable for you to keep your lights on so you don't have to go get another survivor job, we can now move you into phase three. [00:24:15] So phase three is the one-to-many approach.

Adam: Some people call it group coaching, but here's what I like to identify, is as I'm building my process through my one-on-ones, we call it the book. I know that in my one-on-ones, [00:24:30] they get my entire book. But as I build a one to many, they only get a chapter, okay? And that chapter is gonna lead them to wanting what?

Adam: The book. So as I go from [00:24:45] one-to-one to one-to-many, and only teach them a chapter at a time, there are some people that will want what we call compression of time. Compression of time means I want the whole book now. I don't wanna have to wait for another cohort. I don't wanna have to wait for something else to get the next chapter.

Adam: I want that chapter [00:25:00] now. Great. Those people come back up to what we call your proximity, right? That's one-to-one. But now that they know you have value in this chapter, they want the whole book. If you started at 1,500, now you can go to 3,000, 5,000, 10,000. Whatever the [00:25:15] defined payoff is, you can charge 1/10th.

Adam: So if I came to you, Kris, and said, "Hey, I have a process, and you're in my one-to-many, that'll get you from zero to a million dollars. Here's the path. Here's the process," and you want that million [00:25:30] dollars, you will definitely pay $100,000 for it. That's the way it works. So you will get me proximity. When people come to you after the one-to-many, you should be expensive.

Adam: But expensive is relative because it's attached to your payoff. Most people, let me rephrase this, [00:25:45] I have watched coaches step into the coaching space and say, "I'm for sale." I'm like, nope, you're thinking like an employee. Your payoff is for sale, and you better know what the payoff can get somebody, either opportunity gain or opportunity lost cost.

Adam: And with that, you can charge [00:26:00] 1/10th. And we have watched people just skyrocket. Skyrocket.

Kris: How do you calculate the original number? Like, if it isn't business or income related, how do you... Like, if someone's [00:26:15] losing weight or doing some other type of coaching that's not related to a number.

Adam: Well, you can take the fitness space or the nutrition space or even, like, the divorce space, right? I've been divorced, and I know the cost that it cost me to go through that divorce, right? [00:26:30] And if there was a divorce coach, which by the way, post that divorce, I have remarried.

Adam: It was five, six years later, but I did hire a relationship coach first, because I knew how much that first one cost me, and I was not gonna do that again, right?

Kris: Yeah. I just [00:26:45] finished working with a divorce coach. It's such a great niche.

Adam: Oh, it really is.

Kris: Everybody needs one.

Adam: But let's really talk about that, right?

Adam: Because I don't know what the average divorce costs, but let's just throw it at a million dollars.

Kris: Mm-hmm.

Adam: I don't know, [00:27:00] every state's gonna be different, everybody's net worth is different. Mine cost me $2 million, okay?

Adam: Had I had a coach in that space, I would have easily probably paid them 200,000 to save me two million over a 10-year period.

Kris: Right.

Adam: Right? Let's go into the [00:27:15] fitness and nutrition space. I've seen people die of obesity. I've seen people who don't take care of themselves not be on this planet anymore, and I've seen the costs that are associated with that. When my father passed from Parkinson's-related issues, gosh, I would have paid any amount of money for him not [00:27:30] to have to go through that seven years of horrific pain.

Kris: Yeah.

Adam: Right?

Kris: Yeah.

Adam: And so the opportunity lost cost there is if you don't hire me, you'll pay it that way.

Kris: Right.

Adam: Right?

Kris: Right.

Adam: So there's always [00:27:45] ways to put a number around it, and sometimes it doesn't have to be a number. It can be just that, right? "Great. If you don't lose weight, here's what's going to happen."

Kris: Mm-hmm.

Adam: That bill, this emergency room, that funeral, all [00:28:00] that's probably gonna cost you a million dollars. Great. So opportunity lost is a million dollars, otherwise we get into coaching.

Kris: Right, right, right. Okay.

Adam: Yeah.

Kris: Got it. Got it.

Adam: But most coaches do. They will put a price tag on themselves, which means that they are the value.

Adam: You are [00:28:15] not the value. You are the conduit to the payoff.

Kris: Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they care about what they get. They don't really care how they get it, right? They just want that happy end result, and if you can deliver that, then... And how [00:28:30] much is the problem worth solving, right?

Kris: How big is the problem? Yeah.

Adam: Well, here's the fun part. So I've had people challenge me a lot in the space of the coaching space is so saturated. Cool. [00:28:45] Okay. What's your point? Well, I could never make money in that space, because there's so many real estate coaches, there's so many life coaches, there's so many fill-in-the-blank coaches.

Adam: Okay, and you may not be wrong. But here's what will change that. Kris, you and I could be in [00:29:00] the same space where we coach coaches. Fantastic. You may have and I may have a similar payoff that the coaches want. Fantastic. That's P number one is payoff. P number two is premise. My belief around that payoff and how to get to that payoff [00:29:15] may be different than yours, and you will attract a specific avatar to your belief, your worldly views on your premise of that payoff, which are different than mine.

Adam: Our methodology or practice, could be the third P, may be the same, but if our belief system [00:29:30] is different, if our universal view or vantage point of that process is different, that's how we will attract different avatars.

Kris: Mm.

Adam: And I see that all the time, all the time. We have coaches in our community that are [00:29:45] business-based coaches.

Adam: Some are in real estate, some are in mortgage, some are in, oh, let's see here. We've got a W-2 coach in there. It's fascinating. Shapes, colors, and sizes, all different. And they're like, "Oh my gosh, how many real estate coaches do you have in the community?" I don't know. "Well, [00:30:00] I want to be the only one."

Adam: Mm, that's not gonna happen and here's why. And it doesn't matter. It's the belief systems that matter.

Kris: Right.

Adam: Right? Right. And the world needs to know it too.

Kris: How do you identify what your belief system is [00:30:15] for that piece? And then if you want to change it, how do you change it?

Adam: So I'll give an example, and this is just my belief in the coaching space.

Adam: I don't believe that certifications will make you any more money.

Kris: I agree with that.

Adam: I don't believe that certifications... [00:30:30]

Kris: I believe that too. Yeah.

Adam: I don't believe that certifications will help you build a business, and yet I see coaches going to get certified before they have a business.

Adam: And they're like, "Oh my gosh, what do I do now? I am XYZ certified, and it cost me $30,000. Help, help, help." And I'm like, "I don't believe in [00:30:45] certifications." Right? So if you wanna go get certified, more power to you. That's not going to be the process that I'm gonna take you down.

Adam: Right? So you've gotta just understand, this goes back to your identity, of where do you have backbone?

Adam: Where do you [00:31:00] have a foot planted into the ground that says, "This is what I believe"? And if you don't, that's okay. You probably better go develop some though.

Adam: I don't believe in coaching-dependent models. I don't believe that someone who is coaching should [00:31:15] give half of their money back.

Adam: That just means to me you're a lazy coach.

Adam: Because if you can't stand on your own two feet and you can't go out there and go get clients based on your own problem solution cycle, okay, that's fine. You just won't fit into my world.

Adam: You're not my avatar. [00:31:30] Those are my beliefs.

Kris: I love it.

Adam: Just a few of them.

Kris: Yeah. Well, I think for a lot of people, it can be easy to fall into, like, a scarcity belief around either money or that the market is saturated. And [00:31:45] so I guess my question is, once you identify that you have a belief that's actually not serving you, that's actually kinda bringing you down or keeping you [00:32:00] flat or keeping you stuck, is it really simple just to change that, or do you have an approach to that?

Adam: So are you familiar with the Johari window model?

Kris: I am not, but I'm a big [00:32:15] Brooke Castillo person. And I love her model of, you know, circumstance, thought.

Adam: Well, I believe, so the way that they broke this model down was really, really good. And there's four quadrants, and the top left quadrant is the open and free area, right? And so the open and free area is you know this about me, and [00:32:30] I know this about myself, and so everyone knows this about us. To the right, the top right, that is the blind spot, and the blind spot is I don't know this about myself, and yet you know this about me.

Kris: Mm-hmm.

Adam: And the idea there is if I [00:32:45] want to have my blind spot exposed, "Kris, tell me something that I need to know about myself that I don't know," or "Kris, when I'm in the room, how do I make you feel?" Or, "On the other side of me, what do you feel?" Right? So that's the blind spot. And when you share that back with me, now my open [00:33:00] area gets a little bit bigger.

Kris: Mm-hmm.

Adam: Now, the bottom left quadrant is the hidden area. This is I know it about myself, but you don't know it about me.

Kris: Mm.

Adam: And the only way to expose that is to tell it, right?

Kris: Mm.

Adam: Is to fully share what that is. I was on a [00:33:15] call earlier today with a group that I belong to called High Capacity Leadership.

Adam: It's a John Maxwell group. And there was a man who was leading it who I know dearly, and I knew the story, but there was about 60 or 70 people on there, and he just finished writing a book. And he went into a hidden area. [00:33:30] And I think he's probably in his late 40s, early 50s, but there was an accident when he was 14, and he killed his three-year-old brother.

Adam: And of those people on the call, there was probably a handful of us that knew the story, but he went into a [00:33:45] hidden area, opened it up by sharing, and so now his open area got a little bit bigger. Okay. And in the bottom right corner is the unknown. And it's, "I don't know about myself, and you don't know it about me."

Adam: And the silly example I always give there is, "Kris, do you like [00:34:00] sushi? You don't know? I don't know if you like sushi. Let's go have sushi, and let's see if you like sushi." Right? And so that is the unknown area. So that's a model that I always use to help people expose a little bit at a time, to get a little window feedback, right?

Adam: That's a blind spot. Because [00:34:15] so many of us all day long hear our voice, see what's in front of us, and if we're on a screen, we can see ourselves, but we look in the mirror 90% of the time, and this is the perception of us through our own lens, not through your lens.

Adam: [00:34:30] That's how we help.

Kris: Got it. And so through that process, you can identify if there's a belief or a thought or maybe more of a behavior that you wanna shift or change. [00:34:45]

Adam: Yeah. Let me share one here with you that just happened right before our call. I'll give you the language. "I have been so scared that I'm a burden and bothersome.

Adam: And I'm afraid of rejection." [00:35:00] Okay? So that's a little hidden area that they're sharing. Great. Okay. So we're opening that up a little bit. So then I had to go into some blind spot sharing to pull back her mirror and open it up through a window, and share [00:35:15] with this coach what really is going on through the lens of me looking at her versus her projecting it onto me.

Adam: And here's the thing. This person already had nearly 100 people in a community. 100 people in a community. That's a great [00:35:30] one-to-many approach business.

Kris: Yeah.

Adam: And it was doing just south of about $100,000, which was fantastic, and yet this person was a little worried of being burdensome or bothersome when it came time to offering, she had three spots left in her [00:35:45] one-on-one coaching, of offering it to that group of 100.

Adam: She didn't want them to think that they were being sold something.

Adam: And there's a whole other podcast called Confirmation Bias, and we can go into that one another time, but that was something that she had, a wound she hadn't identified [00:36:00] yet. She was living a lie, that I just need to sit back and not bother anybody.

Adam: And so the way that I'm going to do that is be patient. Right? My pose is I'm gonna be patient. My pose is I'm just gonna be simple.

Adam: Right? That [00:36:15] was a pose. She was giving me a pose right there. We had to uncover that.

Kris: Right. Yeah. Wow. It's such deep and powerful work that you do.

Kris: I love it. Yeah. It's so fun.

Kris: So Adam, tell us how we can find you, work with you, be a part of the community.

Adam: Sure. [00:36:30] So just go to my Instagram, Adam R. Roach. There's two Rs there in the middle. And what you'll see on there is you won't see a lot of the coaching language that we use right here because, for me, I love my family.

Adam: I love my life. I'm just blessed by all the things that [00:36:45] we get to do, so it's a very lifestyle-based Instagram. And you'll see on there how you can engage with me and how you can be a part of the community. If you wanna go see the community, it's just ilovecoachingco.com. And inside of there, we have a challenge.

Adam: We do a challenge [00:37:00] every single month, and that's an offer challenge, right? A 10K coaching offer challenge that we believe one of the biggest areas for coaches, whether they are starting to be a coach or continuing to expand their coaching business, is the offer space, right? They don't know how to build the actual [00:37:15] offer around the who, what, where, when and why.

Adam: And then we have the community in there, and the community was created simply because, a little selfishly, I love being around people. And in the same breath, though, I know that people want two things. They want, number one, content, and content to grow, content to [00:37:30] build, and that's our blueprint.

Adam: And in the same breath, I know that people don't like to build in silos, and so we established the community. And like I said, we've now been blessed to serve coaches on four continents. Don't know how that happened. I just know that, you know, [00:37:45] sometimes the unexplained is just a blessing and we go along with it, and it's just a lot of fun.

Adam: We have so much fun in that community. I hold three events a year, we call them intensives, where we're coaching through the blueprint, specific models for them to go and [00:38:00] run play when they get back to wherever they are. We get together once a week in the community, and whether myself or a part of my team or a special guest comes in, whether it's a John Maxwell or a Dan Martell of the world, and we just bring value to coaches.

Adam: And that's what I love to do. So that's where they can go find me, Adam R. [00:38:15] Roach, or they can go to ilovecoachingco.com and just learn more about us.

Kris: Wonderful. Well, I'm really happy that you scratched that itch to become a coach and sold everything. So congratulations.

Adam: Thank you.

Kris: I'll definitely be checking you out, so thanks so much for being here.

Adam: Thank you, Kris. Thank you for having me. [00:38:30]