Beyond Transactions: Building Client Relationships That Convert with Nicole Cramer

From Click to Client Podcast · Episode 86

Why Polished Brand Messaging Falls Flat

Why the most polished version of your message is rarely the one that lands, and how to sound like yourself without losing an ounce of authority.

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Episode 86

Why Polished Brand Messaging Falls Flat, with Heather Sager

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About This Episode

You have worked hard on your message. You have said it out loud enough times that it comes out clean. And it still is not doing what you hoped it would do, which usually leads somewhere frustrating: the assumption that it needs to be even more polished.

In this episode I am talking with Heather Sager, a high performance coach who has been on more than 1,500 stages. For years she communicated on behalf of a company, and she got very good at it. She also describes that version of her voice as awesome, but not fully her. When she started her own business and read her own emails out loud, she could hear it immediately.

We get into why resonance beats getting it right, how she rebuilt her on-camera confidence by reviewing her own footage on repeat, why an era of generated content makes a real voice more valuable, and the question worth asking before you decide how visible your business actually needs you to be.

What You'll Walk Away With

  • Why polished brand messaging can push people away, and what to aim for instead of getting it right
  • How to watch your own videos productively, and the questions that make it worth the discomfort
  • Why personality without substance reads as fluff, and substance without personality reads as a script
  • How to match your visibility to your business model rather than to what everyone else is doing

Questions This Episode Answers

Why does my marketing sound like everyone else?
How do I get comfortable being on camera for my business?
Is being good on video a personality trait or a skill?
How visible do I need to be to grow my business?

"Don't try to attack the fear with more courage. Attack the fear with more skill."

— Heather Sager

Meet Heather Sager

Heather Sager

Heather Sager is a high performance coach for visionary and visible leaders. A former corporate executive turned entrepreneur with more than 1,500 stages under her belt, she helps high achievers show up at the level of their brilliance. She is the host of Hint of Hustle, and when she is not behind the mic she is chasing three young boys, training for a half marathon, or baking sourdough in her cozy log cabin in Bend, Oregon.

Visit Heather's Website
Listen to the Hint of Hustle Podcast
Download the Free Profitable Speaking Guide
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Connect with Kris Jones

Kris Jones

Kris Jones is the founder of Red Door Stories, a Certified StoryBrand Guide, and a messaging strategist who helps service providers, coaches, and consultants clarify their marketing message so they can attract consistent clients. Her core belief: simplicity is a strategic advantage. Less noise, clearer message, more traction.

Book a Money-Making Messaging Call
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Subscribe to Kris's YouTube Channel and Learn How to Attract More Clients

📖 Episode transcript

Kris: [00:00:00] Heather Sager, I am so happy to have you here today. This has been a long time coming. I've actually been wanting you on the podcast for quite a long time now. And so I'm just delighted to have you here. you have had such a positive impact on my life. [00:00:15] for our listeners, Heather and I have worked together a handful of times.

Kris: [00:00:19] We did a one-on-one coaching month years ago, oh my gosh, and you really helped me get my first video out on YouTube back in the day. And, also been through [00:00:30] your program, the Signature Talk Accelerator, which was, oh my gosh, deep work, intense, so fun. So you have really helped me show up online and in person to be able to talk about what [00:00:45] I do, to become more visible, to be authentic, to have fun with it, and to not sound like everybody else.

Kris: [00:00:53] Heather, you have been on over 1,500 stages. You are just ... Like, being on stage for you is like [00:01:00] just jumping into a swimming pool, and it just easy, fun, engaging. And, I think we have a lot to learn from you today. So welcome.

Heather: [00:01:09] Oh, thank you so much, and what an intro. And I probably should clarify that jumping into a swimming pool, to me, [00:01:15] sounds horrible.

Heather: [00:01:16] I had a fear, like a massive fear of water, uh, my entire childhood, to the extent where I would sit on the edge of the pool crying while all the kids played. and even to this day as an adult, I c- I identify as a pool-adjacent person. Uh, [00:01:30] for sure. So that is a funny way to, to put my, uh ... I would much rather be on stage in front of thousands than in a swimming pool.

Kris: [00:01:38] That says a lot. That says a lot. Well, I'm really, really happy to have you here, and I, first I really wanna get [00:01:45] into what are you up to lately? Like, how has your business evolved? I know you, you moved. Heather and I both lived in Portland for many years, and I'm still in Portland. Heather has now moved.

Kris: [00:01:56] And so I wanna hear about how that shift, that [00:02:00] move, that new addition to the family, a new baby who, not so new anymore, how has all this kind of informed the new version of your business?

Heather: [00:02:10] Yeah. Okay, I love that we're starting here, and actually talking about this paired with- [00:02:15] our voices. So I actually think it's a really cool parallel.

Heather: [00:02:17] So real quick context, when I lived in Portland, I had one of those high-powered corporate jobs. I had the corner office. I ran a training team for a really successful management firm in medical, in the medical space. And [00:02:30] I definitely was in that, like, let's wear heels all the time, wear the business clothes.

Heather: [00:02:33] I drove the Lexus. I had a really, uh, let's say fancy life. The bougie life is definitely what, what I had, and I loved it. It was all of my hopes and dreams that I had in my 20s, and then when I entered my 30s [00:02:45] and started having children, I started asking big questions. And after having my second kid was when I was like, nope, can't do this anymore, and I started my business, which the whole identity crisis we have after having a child is very exciting for parents.

Heather: [00:02:56] You'll all relate with that. But the, what it comes down to is when I started my, my [00:03:00] business, my online business, I took the role of speaking coach. I had done a ton of public speaking, a ton of being on stage, but it was all masked under another brand. So I always felt like my voice always had to be polished because I wasn't just representing myself as a speaker, I was [00:03:15] also representing this entity.

Heather: [00:03:16] So I was an ambassador on behalf of this company, and I got really good at it, and I had a lot of personality, but I always felt it was, it was definitely polished. It was a version of me that was awesome, but it wasn't fully me. And when I started my business and I started [00:03:30] growing my podcast and my email newsletter, and I remember reading some of my own emails out loud of going, "Wow, this sounds like someone has like a stick up their ass.

Heather: [00:03:38] That's not how I talk to people. It's not how I talk to my friends. I'm like, what would it look like for me to sound more like me? [00:03:45] Mm. And in my content, I started saying things like instead of being nervous of public speaking, I always talked about having your underboobs be sweaty or, like, other really random things.

Heather: [00:03:53] When I would work with business owners and talk about them delivering their first big keynote, I talk about popping their stage cherry, and [00:04:00] all of these things inappropriate, but this is how I talk, right? And I don't talk like grotesquely all the time, but it's all these little unexpected moments because when I do communicate, I have a tendency to be a very polished communicator because I have done so much speaking that I found in teaching [00:04:15] communication that level of polish Was aspirational, but it wasn't very relatable to my clients.

Heather: [00:04:21] That they wanted to be like that, but they didn't see themselves in it because it was a little too advanced for them, if that makes sense.

Kris: [00:04:26] Totally.

Heather: [00:04:27] So I found myself just wanting to do more me. What [00:04:30] would it look like to bring more me? Yeah. And in all these, fast-forward, all these big life questions, business questions, I built this really incredible multiple six-figure speaking coaching business, and then my husband and I decided at the age of 40, let's just make our lives even more [00:04:45] complicated and exciting, and we moved across the state to Central Oregon.

Heather: [00:04:48] And in the same weekend we put our house on the market, we found out we were pregnant with our third child. And, uh, it's now been three years in Bend, three years in Bend, Oregon, and ugh, I [00:05:00] am the same person, but an entirely different person because not only does the way I communicate different, I'm fully myself in how I show up in my, again, my own podcast, my own emails.

Heather: [00:05:08] As you can tell on this interview, I don't hold back. I'm gonna say the weird, inappropriate shit. Yeah. but I also h- I [00:05:15] also have found that in my life too, where I'm no longer working all the time. I now have a toddler at home. I like to bake sourdough. I'm really f- asking myself big questions all the time around, one, what do I want my life to feel like?

Heather: [00:05:25] And two, how do I wanna show up in this phase in my life and in my [00:05:30] business? And I've really found that that question has evolved, and I think it continues to evolve, and I don't think business owners or professionals in general ask that question enough. How do I want to show up? How do I want my work to feel?

Heather: [00:05:41] How do I want to feel as I do that work? And I think that [00:05:45] question, uh, really opens up some really interesting answers and allows us to start thinking about how we communicate in a different way.

Kris: [00:05:51] How do you, how do you wanna feel in your work? I'm curious.

Heather: [00:05:55] Okay, so I've had this mantra for years that I use, and I used to use it on stage back when I was doing a, [00:06:00] a lot of in-person speaking, and I had this idea that, okay, whatever happens on this stage, I have three goals: I wanna make them laugh, I wanna make them cry, and sure as shit, I wanna teach them something that'll change their lives.

Heather: [00:06:10] And I've called this my speaking mantra, but really what it represents for me is I use humor, as you can tell, self-deprecating [00:06:15] humor a lot, unexpected humor in my content. I think learning and growth should be fun, otherwise it's just way too serious. but that second piece is I make people cry, and it's because I share really vulnerable, deep things.

Heather: [00:06:26] I'm not a surface level person. I really like... I wanna feel deeply connected and [00:06:30] feel like the work that I'm doing actually matters. I don't really care about teaching people how to pitch to be on more stages just so they can get more, uh, logos on their website. I care about helping people get their work in front of the people who need to hear it so their lives can change.

Heather: [00:06:42] Like for me, the deep work. I wanna feel like what I'm doing is [00:06:45] meaningful. And then that third piece, I really hate fluffy speakers who just hype people up but don't offer, okay, what do you do right now with that? What's gonna change in your life? How do you take action? So I really think I wanna feel fired up.

Heather: [00:06:56] I wanna feel excited about my life, and I want other people to have that same level of [00:07:00] excitement as they approach whatever challenge that they're facing. So deep work, enthusiasm, excitement, joy. These are all things that I think about all the time.

Kris: [00:07:07] Mm, joy is a big one. I think we can forget that. Like, let me get through this project or let me get through this [00:07:15] month, and then I'll feel the joy, but I'm learning that it's really little moments of micro joy that, that feed the soul.

Kris: [00:07:23] Yeah. Whether it's like, you know- a funny comment or ordering coffee from the [00:07:30] barista and making a joke or cuddling with my kid. Like, the little things really add up

Heather: [00:07:35] It is that, and it's not even... It, it's, the joy is a piece of it, but with so many things, we do that thing where you're saying, "Later, I'll enjoy it.

Heather: [00:07:42] Later, I'll do this. When X, Y, Z happens, then [00:07:45] I'll do whatever." It's, I call this the later lie, and a lot of us, especially coaches, who are really focused on helping people change, we push a lot of things into the future, and most of the time it is our joy. It is the celebration. It's the fun optimization of our [00:08:00] lives, and it's our health.

Heather: [00:08:01] It's how we feel. It's our relationships with our spouse or with our kids. We think that if I can get this one thing off my plate or get through this next season or whatever we have in front of us, we all come up with those BS excuses, but then later we'll get to experience the, the [00:08:15] joy from it or the benefits from it.

Heather: [00:08:16] And I, I think we all know it's bullshit, but we don't call ourselves on it, that we have to start being more aware and responsible for how we feel in the moment, having the hard conversations in the moment so that we can have [00:08:30] better, more, uh, intimate relationships in our lives. We can, choosing to say, "Hey, I gotta clean out my parents' garage because they're selling the childhood home."

Heather: [00:08:39] Okay, that doesn't sound very fun, but how can we turn that into something joyful? How could we turn that into an experience of wow, [00:08:45] like, look at all these memories that are in this thing instead of having to be this heavy thing that you have to deal with? I think every opportunity that you show up for in your business life or your personal life, you get to choose the attitude that you have with it, and that really determines your experience, and I think so many people are offloading that experience to [00:09:00] just chance, and they're just defaulting to negativity, and I don't think that we realize that it's happening.

Heather: [00:09:05] We tend to blame and complain about things that we choose in our own lives. Uh, I think your experience totally changes when you start owning why you're showing up and treat the experience better [00:09:15]

Kris: [00:09:15] Oh my gosh, yeah. I love what you shared about the later lie. I think that, like even naming it is a way to identify it, because it's so believable when you're in the thick of it.

Kris: [00:09:26] I'll just speak for me. I really believe it when I'm like, "No, for [00:09:30] real, once this is done, then..." And, and it's, it is. It's total bullshit, and it's, you know, y- if you kind of look back over the years, I can reflect on the ever presence of that. but I appreciate the name.

Kris: [00:09:44] Yeah, that's [00:09:45] great.

Heather: [00:09:45] I'll add this real quick- Yeah, yeah ... is that right now as we're recording, I don't know when this will air, but the back to school season, e- everyone, it's always so busy. When we get through that, the holiday season, it comes every year, and everybody chooses to all declare it's the busy season, it's miserable.

Heather: [00:09:57] Once we get through the holidays, once we... Like, there... [00:10:00] It's culturally, it's just accepted, and just challenge that if you want to show up better, you have to think not just about your, quote-unquote, "visibility opportunities" when the spotlight's on you. Think about how you show up every single day, what your attitude is, because that's what's [00:10:15] going to trickle over and make your visibility opportunities either be really powerful or just kind of, I hate to use this word because it's totally ChatGPT, but like performative.

Heather: [00:10:23] There is a difference when you're not in congruency in your personal life and your attitude versus your, quote-unquote, "stage life." People can [00:10:30] sense it, and I think people are noticing now that, like more than ever.

Kris: [00:10:33] How do you, how d- how do you, tackle that? Like, how do you make that happen, or how do you help your clients embody that?

Heather: [00:10:41] Yeah. So this... Okay, so we, we mentioned my business has changed a lot over the years. So when it started, I [00:10:45] was doing speaker coaching, and what I was always really deeply passionate about was I wanna help people shine in those onstage moments, but it was less really about nailing a keynote. My thought was, if I can help a client nail a keynote presentation or a signature talk, then they're going to learn how to [00:11:00] become better communicators offstage.

Heather: [00:11:01] So I really focused on those big, stressful moments that people paid attention to with communication, and then it would trickle over. And what I've realized over the last couple years is- While I loved that, I really don't care [00:11:15] about someone giving a keynote. That, to me, it's one moment in time, and I don't work with professional speakers, people who want to build their whole business around speaking on stages.

Heather: [00:11:22] I work with people who are like me. They probably work from a home office, and they have a flexible schedule, and they are damn good at what they do, and they wanna make the [00:11:30] biggest impact possible without it overrunning their lives. They still wanna have the health, they still wanna have the relationships, but they want to be that go-to person.

Heather: [00:11:36] So when I started thinking about that, I'm like, "Why am I not just honing in and talking about communication for experts? Why am I not just claiming and, [00:11:45] and owning this idea that when you show up and communicate, whether it is on a stage, or on a podcast, or on a sales call, or on your own TikTok account, like whenever you show up in the business but also outside of the business, you need to show up at your best because it's the sum of all those moments that actually create your brand.[00:12:00]

Heather: [00:12:00] And so coming back to your question, right, how do you really... how do I help people with that? I moved into what I call high performance coaching, and that's really where I help people become a lot more aware of how they show up both in their business and outside of their business to show up at their best and succeed while maintaining their [00:12:15] relationships and maintaining their overall health.

Heather: [00:12:17] So the first step is helping people become a hell of a lot more aware of how they show up because most of us treat talking like breathing. It's just gonna happen. We do it ev- we've been doing it since we were little kids with our little rambling gibberish. [00:12:30] We talk, but we don't ever really think about the fact that we're talking until there is that high-pressure moment, and then we stress all hell about that moment.

Heather: [00:12:38] So I help my clients start thinking about everyday micro moments when they communicate. How do they become more aware of how they're coming across? How do we [00:12:45] start understanding, okay, if you're not very good at thinking on your feet, you have to understand maybe you're not an external processor. Maybe you're an internal processor, and you have to learn how to externally speak as an internal processor.

Heather: [00:12:57] You gotta learn more about yourself. But [00:13:00] self-awareness is always the first step, and most people are unwilling to look at how they show up right now is because they, they're embarrassed by watching their own videos or role-playing or these things that don't even involve other people. We're so afraid of our own voices and so afraid of [00:13:15] judgment, even of ourselves, that we're unwilling to work on it, so we s- like pull off the Band-Aid and start there.

Kris: [00:13:20] Oh my gosh. That's so good. you had mentioned a while back, I heard you sharing a story about how you [00:13:30] decided, "I'm going to overcome whatever this resistance is, and I'm gonna make that little camera on the top of my monitor my bitch."

Heather: [00:13:40] Yeah,

Kris: [00:13:40] I did

Heather: [00:13:40] say that.

Kris: [00:13:41] And and I, I love that because [00:13:45] it feels, safe, you know?

Kris: [00:13:46] But it's also v- very important forward action to really becoming more comfortable on camera, to really getting to witness w- where are you talking that's working, and in what [00:14:00] ways are you communicating that are not helpful? Or what are the kind of the little habits or ticks that you have when you talk?

Kris: [00:14:06] Tell us about that. Like, what happened for you? What, what happened when you decided to do that, and how did that unfold? How long did it take for you [00:14:15] to get comfortable with this?

Heather: [00:14:16] Yeah. Okay. So this is a really interesting topic, because most people when they think speaking, they think about being on a physical stage, and it's really fascinating.

Heather: [00:14:23] At this stage in my business, a lot of people are coming to me saying, "Oh my gosh, I'm so comfortable on video. I'm so comfortable on [00:14:30] webinars. I'm so comfortable on virtual," but they're terrified of the stage, and it's... Uh, the reason why it's interesting is because for me, seven years ago it was the opposite.

Heather: [00:14:36] People were like, "I'm comfortable on stages, but video is terrifying." So how the pendulum swings in, in, in our world. But so for me, back when I was doing all of my public [00:14:45] speaking, I was showing up on a physical stage of some sort literally every day in my career. So whether I was leading, virtual calls, or we had a training center in Scottsdale, so I was l- literally leading workshops in person all the time.

Heather: [00:14:56] I was on physical stages in Las Vegas. I would fly, I- all over the world [00:15:00] teaching these seminars. So I got really good at being on a physical stage, whether it was 2,000s or in a room of 10 people. I got really good, and I wanna, I wanna clarify this piece, is for me, why I became good is because I got really curious.

Heather: [00:15:13] I started noticing, huh, when do [00:15:15] people lean in? When do they lean out and start playing Candy Crush? When do they engage in the questions that I ask? I would go back, I remember, ugh, this would make me cringe, but before I would give my opening keynote for the certain event, I would always watch the video from the previous time, and I would do it in my [00:15:30] hotel room the night before the event.

Heather: [00:15:31] And I remember one time I was watching this video. I had to wear this... At the time we had to wear polo shirts for this company, and I was wearing this hideous purple polo shirt, uh, in, in this, in this video. But I remember watching it, and I remember thinking like, "What the hell am I doing with my hand?" [00:15:45] And I, I had the clicker in my right hand, but I kept fidgeting with it.

Heather: [00:15:48] And when I set the clicker down, I started fidgeting with my watch, and then I was fidgeting with my necklace, and I'm like, "What is happening?" And when I was... This specific example, I, I think I had been speaking on stages at that company for maybe six months, so I was [00:16:00] really starting to ask questions of how am I coming across right now?

Heather: [00:16:02] And my original question that I was asking was, "What the hell did I say last time?" So I could duplicate it, but then I started realizing, whoa, I was doing these weird things on stage. So I noticed, and then I made changes. I decided to remove all of my jewelry, [00:16:15] and I had to fill, like put that clicker in my hand and be aware of how I was holding it.

Heather: [00:16:19] I bring all this up because when I started my online business, it's hilarious. I had been speaking on stages, and like put me in any scenario, I could, I could deliver world-class- business sermon on a [00:16:30] dime, right? And you can tell I'm not a short-winded person, right? I, I can go. But put me in front of the video camera, and I could not get a sentence out.

Heather: [00:16:38] All of the sudden, my voice would change, and I have, like, a reporter voice. And I'm like- ... "Who is this person talking?" And I [00:16:45] could... Like, every w- sentence was connected with the words and so. It was the world's most run-on sentence there ever was, which I wasn't even aware of at the time. But I could not get my ideas across, and more importantly, I did not like who was showing up to those videos because my [00:17:00] voice got higher.

Heather: [00:17:01] It sounded... It reminded me when I would be in a boardroom with people who had 20 years of experience over me, and I'd s- act, like, weird and awkward, like I was really trying to prove myself. That's how I showed up on video, and I hated it. And so when I started... There's my and connecting everything together.

Heather: [00:17:14] You get a [00:17:15] little sample there. Uh, but when I started doing video, I'm like, "I, I have to get over this fear." And well, that's when I said, "I'm gonna make this camera my bitch." So I said, "What did I do to get more comfortable, and not just comfortable, but really damn good on stages?" I practiced every [00:17:30] single day.

Heather: [00:17:31] And not only did I practice, I went back and watched the game tapes. So this was back in 2018, where Facebook Live, I would say, was at its peak. I went live every week on Facebook. I had my own little show. I created a little intro for it, a little title. I would go live and [00:17:45] talk, uh, on a topic, and then what I did is I...

Heather: [00:17:48] This is back when captions were s- terrible, and you would... Uh, it was a really complicated process how to turn on cap- captions, but they were, they were not accurate. So I would go through and hand key and fix all of the captions- Wow ... of the [00:18:00] videos. And it was through doing that, which side note, if y'all are listening going, "Oh, there's so much more efficient ways to do that," that wasn't the point.

Heather: [00:18:06] I wasn't trying to be efficient. What I wanted to do was literally painstakingly hear and see everything I did in those videos, [00:18:15] and I hated every second of it. And I was like, "Oh man, why is everything a question mark? Why is everything running together? Why am I saying 'and so' and s- so much? Why are my hands doing that?

Heather: [00:18:22] Like, what's up with my left eyebrow?" Like, all these stupid things. But it wasn't until I was able to stare it in the eye and have such an [00:18:30] annoyingly pissed off nature of level of awareness that I then could create change the next time I recorded. The next time I record it, I'm like, "I'm gonna pause for a second and breathe instead of saying so many filler words.

Heather: [00:18:42] I'm going to look at the camera instead of my [00:18:45] face on the reflection." Like in real time that next week I can make another change, and I just think so many people are unwilling to do these little details I'm talking about here because right now we're in an era where everybody wants to spend less time doing their work.

Heather: [00:18:59] We want [00:19:00] more efficiency, and let me just tell y'all this, efficiency does not create skills. In fact, it shortcuts them, and I think it degrades skills. So if there are areas in your business where you need to have world-class skills, stop outsourcing it. Stop trying to [00:19:15] shortcut it, and do the painstakingly freaking annoying work of building the skill, which is gonna suck, but hot damn can I tell you I sure know how to make the camera my bitch now.

Heather: [00:19:24] I mean, I've been staring at the little black hole. Kris, your face is over on my left. I haven't looked at you once during this entire probably very long TED [00:19:30] Talk I just made. I know how to look at that camera and maintain a level of charisma, eye contact, body language, facial expressions, my voice cadence.

Heather: [00:19:38] Sure, I used some filler words, but we can talk about that in a minute. there's actually a reason I use those now. Uh, anyways, all this to be said, you, you gotta [00:19:45] figure out what's the skill you're trying to learn and embrace the suckiness of it.

Kris: [00:19:49] Yeah. Wow. How long did it take you until you reached a point where you were like, "This is so much better.

Kris: [00:19:57] I'm not... It's not torture for me to watch myself on camera [00:20:00] anymore"?

Heather: [00:20:03] Okay, random. This is very random. Here's how I'm gonna answer your question. The other day I was looking at my toddler, and I don't know if you remember this with your young kids, you know how, like, little kids don't have kneecaps?

Kris: [00:20:13] Yeah.

Heather: [00:20:13] It's very random.

Kris: [00:20:14] Yeah. [00:20:15]

Heather: [00:20:15] I looked at my little one, he's almost three, and he doesn't have kneecaps, and I realized, when did my older two c- kids, who are eight and 11, when the hell did they get kneecaps?

Heather: [00:20:23] I have no idea. It's just one day they had kneecaps. And I don't know when it happened. And that's what happened for me with [00:20:30] video. Yeah. I have no idea when it happened, and what I will tell you is it probably...

Heather: [00:20:37] My confidence and skills probably came in stages, where when I look back, even at my videos... Actually, if [00:20:45] you type in Heather Saker hand gestures into YouTube, you will see a video I probably did maybe six months into me practicing video, and at the time, I'm like, "This is so much better." I now look at it and I'm like, "That is so terrible."

Heather: [00:20:57] You can actually see my voice is [00:21:00] much higher. I look like I'm trying to be a certain persona on camera. Like, how I talk today is drastically different than how I- Mm-hmm ... talked six, seven years ago. Mm-hmm. But at the time, I was like, "Oh, this is so much better." I couldn't even get a sentence out six months prior.

Heather: [00:21:13] So I, I was able to [00:21:15] start going from... What I didn't share with you is my first month of doing this, I did, definitely did not go live on Facebook. It was just me and my webcam saved on my remote desktop. Like, I didn't put it anywhere. It was just me and the camera. It was just private, and it was very cringey, very awkward.

Heather: [00:21:28] So, but I think I started [00:21:30] going live within 90 days, and then from that, I sort of started posting to YouTube, and then from there, I created my podcast. And then now it's been, I don't know, six, seven years since I released my podcast. Oh

Kris: [00:21:39] my gosh. And yeah. And at what point, at what point in that journey were you like, "I'm showing up [00:21:45] very polished, but this is not me"?

Kris: [00:21:47] And what was w- what was the process of really kind of unlearning that polishedness? 'Cause I lo- like, the way you show up on your podcast is so refreshing. I [00:22:00] love the F-bombs, whatever, like, whatever it takes. Like you just... There's no filter, and I think, like, that type of realness is, I think people are really hungry for it.

Kris: [00:22:10] Yeah. And I think it just feels good, and it's, and [00:22:15] it's way more fun. so how did you kind of... How did you undo that? 'Cause I would say, like- I'm similar in that I can show up, I can be polished. I think people think of me as maybe [00:22:30] more polished or maybe more put together. But if you really know me, I'm very much not.

Kris: [00:22:36] Like, really, like, I, yeah. And so I'm just curious, like, how did you unlearn You must unlearn what you have learned. Yes. How [00:22:45] did you do

Heather: [00:22:45] it? So I think it's a, a matter of constantly asking yourself the question around what are my goals, uh, who am I talking to, and how can I show up as the best version of myself today?

Heather: [00:22:54] And I know that sounds kind of cheesy, but that it wasn't... It was less of how do I sound less [00:23:00] polished, and more of how can I resonate more with my ideal client. Right. And so this I actually wanna point out real quick. One of the things that's really fascinating, when people would come to me for the Signature Talk Accelerator, and they really wanted to nail down their messaging.

Heather: [00:23:12] Yeah. They knew they were experts, but they were suffering from the curse of the expert, [00:23:15] which means they could talk about their stuff in circles, but other people didn't quite get it. Right. Or they'd politely nod their head, but they really weren't invested. They didn't understand why do I need this now, why me, why you, all these things.

Heather: [00:23:24] And what would happen is people would come to me, and they were so focused on wanting to get their [00:23:30] message right. They're like, "Give me the structure so that I say it in the right way so that people will buy." Like, that's essentially what people were saying without saying it. Yeah. And I, over the years I have gotten much better at not trying to be like a nice way to put [00:23:45] it.

Heather: [00:23:45] I would just flat out tell my clients, "Stop that shit," right? You're... We're not here to get it right. Nobody wants right. People want to resonate with what you're saying, so we're going for resonation over right here, okay? So when I started realizing that of [00:24:00] myself, I would think about my content, right? So l- let's take my weekly newsletter as an example.

Heather: [00:24:03] I would write an email, and what would happen is as I was writing my email, I would then read it out loud. And I was reading out loud, anywhere where it sounded a little clunky, I, I could feel the friction in me saying, [00:24:15] "This is not how I would say it." So I would move to, well, how would I actually say it?

Heather: [00:24:19] And one of the exercises I know you and I have done before, uh, but I would do to myself, is I would tell my clients, "How would you say this if you were three margaritas deep?" And that right there is like the opener for so many people. They [00:24:30] would say it so much simpler, and that's how I helped a lot of people come up with their core message and better ways to explain their shit.

Heather: [00:24:35] But I started doing that on myself, is, well, how would I actually say it? And then I realized that's way more interesting. I don't, I don't want to read about, I don't know, generic things around [00:24:45] messaging. Uh, be more aligned. Uh, live a better li- like j- I don't wanna read that stuff, and nobody else does either.

Heather: [00:24:50] When you use language that's unexpected, that's, authentic, that just, I don't know, it's enjoyable to read, again, bringing a joy to what you're doing, I think when we start thinking about [00:25:00] that, it starts... We start asking the questions, how would I communicate this like a real person to another real person versus as an entity trying to position myself as the expert.

Heather: [00:25:08] So long, very long-winded, as we learned here- Mm-hmm ... uh, way to say I don't know that I ever was like let me remove the polish. I [00:25:15] think I just decided- I'm going to stop trying to position myself as the first impression, I don't know, polished version, and just go, "You know what? Maybe I'm not gonna build the fricking multi-million dollar company if I [00:25:30] built myself as this like look at me in my fancy heels and my fancy cars," which by the way, I got rid of all of those things when I moved to Bend.

Heather: [00:25:35] Uh, what if I was the bitch in the kitchen with the sourdough, uh, talking over B-roll while my kids are going crazy in the background, but talking about my first presentation and where I got it wrong and where you can learn from that? [00:25:45] Like- Mm ... what if I just shared my life more authentically? And here's the key that I want you all to hear.

Heather: [00:25:50] Yes, I'm real. Yes, I say these really inappropriate things that we have just, uh, established in today's episode. But the content and what I teach is [00:26:00] really freaking good. I have simple systems. I have frameworks that I have named, AKA the later lie, and some other things we'll get into, right? I have really strong substance, and I think this is where people really like muck it up, is they try to be too friendly and [00:26:15] "Hey, girl" and casual, but then they lack the substance that translates to other people.

Heather: [00:26:20] So you have to come across as wicked freaking smart, and that for me, I'm wicked freaking smart. I'm really good at taking complex ideas and making them simple, uh, making them pedestrian, if you will, so [00:26:30] other people can get it. But I don't talk like a snuffy snooty person. I talk like a real person, and the juxtaposition of those two things is my brand.

Heather: [00:26:37] It's why it works so well. But if you have really basic content and you're just regu- regurgitating basic shit that people already [00:26:45] know, and you talk like a basic bitch like me, those two things together are not gonna position you as the expert. So I wanna make sure that I'm not confusing being casual or plainspoken with my language and a little weird.

Heather: [00:26:56] You have to pair that with really good [00:27:00] content. And the cool part is, if you're listening to this show, if you're really good at what you do, I wonder, I just wonder how much you dilute what you do because you generalize it and you try to make it reach so many people that you're actually diluting your work, and therefore people don't see it as good as it [00:27:15] actually is

Kris: [00:27:15] Mm.

Kris: [00:27:17] Mic drop.

Heather: [00:27:17] Yeah.

Kris: [00:27:19] You talked about walking, walk the talk, talk the walk. What does that mean? Tell, tell us what's been ruminating in your brain about, around

Heather: [00:27:28] that. Okay. So I was sharing a bit of this before. I [00:27:30] haven't shared this publicly, but I have had a goal of wanting to write a book, like, my entire career.

Heather: [00:27:34] This has always been on my list of I wanna run a marathon and I wanna write a book, these two things. I'm working on the marathon right now. I have registered for a half-marathon in April, get my, get my post-baby ass back in gear. But the book piece, I've [00:27:45] always asked the question, what do I wanna write a book on?

Heather: [00:27:47] And going back to what we talked about, I didn't really want my book to be about how to deliver a great stage talk. Like, I knew that was a piece of it, but it wasn't the thing. And what's really come up for me over the last two years is- I've been playing with this idea [00:28:00] of so many of the people that I work with at the executive level, I work with a lot of founders and executives, and where they struggle is, yes, how they communicate, but they're struggling with things like boundaries.

Heather: [00:28:10] They're struggling with the, uh, they're overworking in the office. They're- they have so many [00:28:15] emails, but they tell their teams, like, "Take the weekend. Don't email at night," but they're emailing at night. And a lot of executives, uh, they're really good at what they do, but they aren't walking the right talk, so we need to work on how do you actually show up as the best version of yourself?

Heather: [00:28:28] How do you actually walk that talk and not just [00:28:30] say it? But on the other end, I think equally so, there are so many really strong leaders and really strong experts who over the years have a really good walk. They have the street cred. They have the experience. They know what they're doing, but they have relied on their [00:28:45] work speaking for itself, relied on word of mouth and referrals, and I get that because I'm a huge relationship person.

Heather: [00:28:50] In fact, I wrote a whole email about it this morning around how all my speaking opportunities are from relationships and referrals. But there comes a point where you have to be able to communicate, one, what it is that [00:29:00] you do, two, why people should care, and three, how to get people to, like, engage in your work, right?

Heather: [00:29:05] You have to be able to talk the walk. You can't just be good at what you do. And I think these two things, we're headed into an era that they're going to be more important now than ever. I think we have to, we have to [00:29:15] have a better walk because with the h- introduction of AI over the last few years and the mainstreaming of it, I don't know if that's a word, but we're gonna make it, but so many people using it to create content, to create efficiencies in their business, I think people are really looking for those who have [00:29:30] actually walked in the shoes that the person's wanting to learn from, right?

Heather: [00:29:34] I think a lot of people are getting good at messaging and marketing from AI, but there's no substance around it. So I think the people who know how to walk the talk, they're really going to come out, but only if they can talk their [00:29:45] walk, meaning- Mm ... they can articulate their value. They can speak in a way that gets other people not just to listen, but it holds that attention, right?

Heather: [00:29:53] I think, I don't know if you've been following online, there's a lot of people who are getting really good at writing hooks. You can get a video. You can [00:30:00] get someone to listen, but have you ex- had that experience where you start listening to someone's video and then realize that, oh my gosh, this entire thing is a ChatGPT script.

Heather: [00:30:06] I'm out. Yeah. Right? But when you have someone who is messy, and maybe it had a good book, maybe it didn't, but they start talking, and you just resonate, and you like that person, right? There's substance there, yes, as [00:30:15] we determined that has to happen, but there's something about the way that they communicate that you're like, "Hot damn, I really resonate with this person."

Heather: [00:30:21] I think those are the people who are going to shine, and I don't think this is a personality trait. I think this is a skill that so many people could master. They're just not noticing they [00:30:30] need to.

Kris: [00:30:30] How would one go about mastering that skill?

Heather: [00:30:33] Yeah. Okay, well, it goes back to what we said before, awareness.

Heather: [00:30:35] So my question for all of you is when was the last time you watched one of your own videos? And watched it, now let me clarify, watched it from a productive point of view. [00:30:45] And what I mean by that, it's too many times my clients will watch their videos and all they focus on are the things that they cannot change.

Heather: [00:30:51] Case example for me, the joke I always make, why is my left, left eyebrow so overactive, but for the life of me I cannot raise my right eyebrow? That, I've tried it. There's nothing changeable about that. For some [00:31:00] reason, the muscles in my face, the right eyebrow does not work on its own. Like, I... I'm doing it right now.

Heather: [00:31:04] For those on audio, it looks really weird. Right? That is not a productive thing to focus on. For me to be like, "Oh, here's another one I totally criticize myself about," my upper lip doesn't move when I talk. I have to consciously think about smiling [00:31:15] to show my teeth, otherwise when I talk it's just my bottom lip showing my bottom teeth, which is highly unattractive, but I can't do anything about it unless I focus and smile, but if I smile the time, that's weird.

Heather: [00:31:22] Okay, I'm using these really weird examples on myself to show you this is what most people focus on, is why do I look weird? Why do I sound [00:31:30] weird? Things that are, like, not really changeable. Or another one, this was me postpartum, I hated how I looked on camera because I had gained so much weight during pregnancy, and I was bloated, and my skin was not great, and I didn't have time to get my hair done, and my grays were showing, and ugh.

Heather: [00:31:44] [00:31:45] So many women especially, because of their weight or because of their feeling, they just nitpick the shit out of themselves on camera. My question for you is, is it helpful to focus your energy on those pieces, or is it a hindrance to you getting your message out? So when we, we have to focus on [00:32:00] productive when we, when we watch our videos.

Heather: [00:32:02] So how do we be more productive? We ask questions, can we change it, right? Okay, how can I say that better? Okay, how can I hold better eye contact? Ooh, I'm looking at the screen, not on there. Where do I look? Let me open up my camera and test it and see if it works. [00:32:15] Holy crap, I talk really fast. Is that a bad thing?

Heather: [00:32:17] Not always a bad thing. As you notice, I talk really fast. I think people's brains move fast. Like, don't talk slow. It's boring. We all wanna put things in 2X speed. Like, think about how do you phrase things better? Did it take you forever to get to your point? The question [00:32:30] is, are you gonna talk about this topic again?

Heather: [00:32:31] Yes? Okay, then it's worth practicing it and saying, "What was my point? And next time can I start at the point and then back it up?" Versus ramble my way to the point just to figure out what I'm saying. You see what I'm getting at here? Mm-hmm. Is focus on watching your own shit, and then asking [00:32:45] productive questions that are changeable and practicable, and then improve on the next one.

Heather: [00:32:49] And when I say the next one, don't wait a week. Do it again that day or the next day. Like, put in the reps. These things can be changeable very, very quickly. Uh, case in point, back when I was on stage and my hand gestures were super weird, [00:33:00] I literally used to walk around my office. Back, I would take all of my phone calls...

Heather: [00:33:04] Um, I have hearing aids, so I stream phone calls in my hearing aids I would take everything standing up, and it wasn't a video call, it was audio calls, but I would walk around my office, moving my [00:33:15] hands around like I was speaking on a stage to start training my brain how should my hands move when I speak.

Heather: [00:33:21] Because here's, here's what's interesting. All of y'all think that this practice stuff, like, I don't know. I don't know what we're trying to do with it, but what I want you to think about, let me use the analogy of a [00:33:30] sports, a sports person. A sports person. Um, I'm watching Ted Lasso right now, so it's about soccer.

Heather: [00:33:37] Yeah. Athletes, right? When they do practice, so on game day, on game day they just do what they've been trained to do. The coach isn't [00:33:45] calling, like telling the striker when to go or who to pass to. The coach's job is during practice. On the game, your just natural instincts come out, so training is into work.

Heather: [00:33:52] This, this is the same thing with speaking. You can't try a hand gesture tick, uh, trick when you're recording a video live. You can't think about how do I use [00:34:00] better, sh- perspective shifting psychology in my keynote? It's not, you're not gonna remember to do it, and you're gonna fumble the punchline of a joke.

Heather: [00:34:07] Or if you're trying to memorize your script, you're gonna screw it up. You have to practice outside of the actual game so that when you do show up, it's [00:34:15] just ingrained. So for me, the hand gestures. I practiced all the time so when I got on stage, the last thing I was thinking about was what I was doing with my hands.

Heather: [00:34:22] Mm-hmm. I think this is what we need to ingrain in our brains more. Where are we focused? How are we showing up? What can we fix? And then how can we practice to make it second nature? [00:34:30]

Kris: [00:34:30] Hmm. Yeah, and you could even have, you know, Claude or ChatGPT uh, come up with prompts for you to tackle every day, and then you just answer those questions in five, 10 minutes every day, and-

Heather: [00:34:42] Yeah

Kris: [00:34:42] by the end of a month, you're in a totally different [00:34:45] place.

Heather: [00:34:45] Yep. Yeah. You can think about it. Put Claude... I haven't done this before. I have a different exercise I do with clients, but you can put into Claude and say, "Hey, you're, uh, my PR media coach," right? Mm-hmm. And make sure you're very clear, right? You don't want it to give you any scripts or any talking points.

Heather: [00:34:57] This is very important that you come up with these things on your own, [00:35:00] otherwise you're gonna get into reciting mode, and reciting mode never sounds authentic. I'm gonna be honest with all of you. None of y'all are Hollywood actors- No ... like A-list actors that are, like, really good, like, believable characters.

Heather: [00:35:10] You're not Ted Lasso here, okay? So when y'all recite scripts, my [00:35:15] brain, and most people's brains, tune out. Even though it might be the right words, what did we say earlier? It's not about getting it right, it's about resonating. Right. And the delivery of a recited script, it's like nails on a chalkboard right now.

Heather: [00:35:26] You can

Kris: [00:35:26] feel it. So

Heather: [00:35:26] please stop

Kris: [00:35:26] doing it. You can feel it. It doesn't matter how [00:35:30] well you know the content, you really can feel it on the other end. one of the things that I do a lot with friends is Marco Polo. Yeah. And Marco Polo is a really great app. Number one, it's a great way to just stay connected with other people, but it [00:35:45] also forces you to look at your own self when you're talking to friends.

Kris: [00:35:48] So I feel like that has been a really good tool for me just to- three margaritas in kind of vibe with friends, but having to [00:36:00] watch myself deliver information.

Heather: [00:36:01] Yeah, I love it. I think you and I may have used Marco Polo early. That was what I used in my business early on with all of my clients, I used Marco Polo.

Heather: [00:36:07] I forgot about that. But it was back when Marco Polo was free, so you could watch things in, like, 2X speed, and they made it paid, so I've since moved to Voxer for that. [00:36:15] But that, I forgot about that. That video piece of everyday conversations, what's fascinating, uh, it... You start off by really thinking about what you look like, and then within a week you're, like...

Heather: [00:36:25] I don't know, it's looking up your nose while you're talking- ... and brushing your teeth or whatever, right? You, you get over it pretty quickly. Right. But yeah, [00:36:30] if there's a, if there's a sting of how you look on camera, you just need to normalize it by, by doing it as much as possible. I find Instagram Stories is a really great way to get over this, because they disappear in 24 hours.

Heather: [00:36:42] Now, the big asterisk to this is a lot of [00:36:45] people hear that and they're like, "Ooh, okay, let me focus on making really good Instagram stories." I don't want you to focus on trying to create effective content that converts or trying to have a strategy around it. The strategy is to not pee your pants when you create video, right?

Heather: [00:36:57] That's like step number one. If you're fearful of it or you're uncomfortable with it [00:37:00] or you sound like that really polished, stick-up-your-ass, no offense, but that's probably not resonating with your clients right now, right? So thinking about, how can I show up more authentically with good substance?

Heather: [00:37:11] Remember that pairing there. How could I do that? And don't [00:37:15] worry about whether or not your Instagram stories are getting the replies or the views, or don't look at any metrics. You're doing this for you. You're not doing it for anybody else but for you in the beginning so that you can build that habit and that comfort and that level of awareness, so then you can get to the good part where you start optimizing it and making it better.

Kris: [00:37:29] Oh, I love [00:37:30] it. I love it. This has been packed with so much incredible information, Heather. Thank you. I want to wrap up today with two questions. Number one, I really wanna hear, like, what's the difference for a coach or a consultant that just does not wanna be [00:37:45] visible? Like, what do you do in that case?

Kris: [00:37:47] Like, are they able to effectively grow, reach the right people, versus somebody who's willing to- Take the leap, get uncomfortable, get more visible, whether it's on podcasts or on [00:38:00] actual stages. Like, what's the path for the both of those people?

Heather: [00:38:04] Okay, I love that you asked this question, because I think so often we see so many examples of really visible people, and we think, "Oh, that's what I have to do too."

Heather: [00:38:10] And I'll use the example I sent in my newsletter this morning, where I was talking about relationships. I know a lot [00:38:15] of people in my business world that really love finding all the events going on in the industry, and then completing the speaker applications so they can be in the summit, they can be at the event.

Heather: [00:38:24] Like, they love just getting themselves out there. Weird thing for me, uh, I hate, with my [00:38:30] whole heart, any kind of form. I will not fill it out. In fact, that... I don't, fill it out. My personal assistant does it. But to take it a step further, I do not fill out speaker forms. So if someone, let's even say, someone invites me on their summit, and then sends me, "Here's my speaker application," I politely say, "No, thank you."

Heather: [00:38:43] Like, I will speak, but I will [00:38:45] not be filling out your form. Like, I don't s- fill out forms. And I used to think this was an asshole admission, but I just... I don't have to. I don't, I don't have to do that. I get plenty of speaking opportunities, and if somebody has an issue with that, I'm not gonna speak at their event.

Heather: [00:38:55] I bring this up because we're conditioned to do things a certain [00:39:00] way. In order to find opportunities, you have to be willing to pitch, you have to have your media kit. Like, my me- I still don't have a speaker page, y'all. Let me just tell... I don't have a speaker page, and I have made multiple six figures from speaking, like in speaking fees, okay?

Heather: [00:39:13] You don't have to do [00:39:15] what anyone tells you you have to do. What you have to figure out is what are my goals, what are my strengths, and what's the strategy to get there? Now, if you make up the strategy from scratch, just know that who knows if it's gonna work, right? But you can find other people to model.

Heather: [00:39:27] So let me just tell you this. There are a bajillion [00:39:30] examples of people who are super visible that do super well. There are also a lot of examples that you probably don't see of people who are not very visible and still do very, very well. The question that I would be asking is what is the business model?

Heather: [00:39:43] And this is what I ask with all of my clients. [00:39:45] If you have a business model where you're a coach, and you work one-on-one with people, you do not need to go on Instagram and build this huge-ass audience, because you only work with a handful of people every month. You just don't need the marketing and the brand to back up [00:40:00] w- your business model.

Heather: [00:40:01] Now, if you're trying to do a business model where you're selling low-ticket digital offers, well, yeah, you're gonna need the audience, but even then, you could do paid ads. There's always a different approach. My question for you would be are you saying, "I don't wanna be visible," because you're scared of it?

Heather: [00:40:14] Okay? That... [00:40:15] Be aware of it. Are you willing to get over that fear? But the bigger question is, is the work that you're doing, do more people need to hear it? And do you want to be the person to share your story to help them hear it? And if there is that deep desire there that you [00:40:30] wanna help more people, don't try to attack the fear with more courage.

Heather: [00:40:33] Attack the fear with more skill. Okay? Ooh, that sounded good, didn't it? Right?

Kris: [00:40:37] Ooh, duh.

Heather: [00:40:38] But that, like, you don't have to muster up the courage, you just have to get, get skill going. So figuring out where can I grow this skill, where can I get the practice, [00:40:45] as we talked about today, even if it's just with yourself.

Heather: [00:40:47] In the beginning, it's all about getting more comfortable for you to show up, and then you can make it good. So I don't know, long-winded way, you could build your business however you wanna build your business, but don't make that decision out of fear. Think about the best version of [00:41:00] you and the business that you wanna have five years from now.

Heather: [00:41:03] How does she show up? How does he treat content? How does he look at visibility? Is it strategic? Is it a necessary evil? Is it a, "Ugh, I hate it. It's not worth its time"? Remember earlier when [00:41:15] I said the energy and attitude you bring to things determines your success in all facets of your life? This is one of those examples.

Heather: [00:41:21] So if you have a shitty attitude around visibility, you're gonna get shitty results and have a shitty experience with it. If you have a intimidated attitude around visibility, [00:41:30] ask yourself better questions, and, uh, connect it to your bigger vision around what you're trying to create, and you'll find you're a hell of a lot more willing to get uncomfortable to make it happen.

Kris: [00:41:38] Mm. Wow. Just a moment to just let that all soak in. Heather, [00:41:45] thank you for being here today. Tell us how we can get more of you and find you and potentially work with you.

Heather: [00:41:52] Yeah, I'd love that. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share. So couple things. If you're listening to the podcast right now, you're most likely a podcaster and like me, you like to have things in your ears.

Heather: [00:41:59] And [00:42:00] if you love the idea of getting fired up and the weird way that I communicated today, you're like, "Hell yeah, I wanna learn business and how to show up better," uh, the best place to go is my podcast. It's called Hint of Hustle with Heather Sager, so we can link that here. Um, that last piece when you talked about visibility, a lot of people, they get stuck on [00:42:15] visibility because they've had experiences where they've done a lot of work to show up, but it's not had a lot of payoff.

Heather: [00:42:20] And what I find is a lot of business owners don't know how to get a return on that visibility. And so if that's a challenge for you, whether you're showing up for podcast interviews or you're showing up for your own [00:42:30] stages, or you wanna get more into guest speaking but you just don't really know if it's worth your time, you can check out...

Heather: [00:42:35] I have a free guide around speaking and how to get a better ROI. One of those places is how to get paid, but there are three other types of currencies that you can generate a kickback on. Uh, if you wanna grab that, you can head on [00:42:45] over to heatherSager.com/guide, and I'll teach you my strategy for speaking, how you get a return, and I'll give you some specific tactics that you can use to milk more juice from those speaking opportunities.

Kris: [00:42:54] Incredible. Thank you so much. We'll have to do it again.

Heather: [00:42:57] You're welcome.

Think about it—when someone lands on your website or hops on a discovery call, most of us immediately go for the big commitment. The six-month program. The full package. The whole enchilada.

But in my latest episode, sales expert Nicole Cramer dropped a truth bomb that flipped the script:

The fastest way to speed up a sale… is to slow it down.

In this conversation, Nicole shares:


💬 Why “professional mind-maker-uppers” succeed where pushy salespeople fail

🎯 The exact 9-step discovery call template she uses every time

⚡ How one client went from six months of crickets to six figures—in one week

My favorite insight?

Nicole says our job isn’t to sell. It’s to help people make confident buying decisions. That one shift removes all the pressure—and replaces it with real connection.

She also shared this gem:

“People see a better version of themselves in us. They want to buy that better version.”

🎧 Listen to the full episode here to learn how slowing down your sales process speeds up your results.

Because here’s the truth:

When you show up as a guide instead of a desperate salesperson, everything changes.


Beyond Transactions: Building Client Relationships That Convert with Nicole Cramer

Kris: Welcome to from Click to Client, where we transform a confusing message into a clear, compelling story that sells. I'm your host, Chris Jones, StoryBrand marketing expert. I'm here to help you attract more dream clients with the power of story.


welcome to the show, Nicole Cramer I am so thrilled to have you here. We had a conversation a few weeks ago and completely and totally hit it off, and I think our Venn diagram diagrams are very deep in overlap in the way that we work with our clients. So I am thrilled for you to be here today. 


Nicole: I am excited to be here.


Kris Thanks for having me. I know this is gonna be a fun conversation. 


Kris: So what is your, like, how do you answer the question? What do you do if somebody like happened upon you at a coffee shop and I said, Hey, what do you do? What? How would you answer that? 


Nicole: I usually like to build in some context and say, well, you know how sometimes you have a really good idea and [00:01:00] you wanna help people, and what that brings up is the opportunity to have conversations where you need to help somebody make a decision.


That's where I come in and I help people understand how to. Show up more powerfully and more influentially to the conversations that really drive their business. Mm-hmm. 


Kris: Awesome. And I love the use of the word conversation because a lot of what you do is really around how to sell more effectively, but it isn't technically selling.


It's through conversation that, that you do this work, right? 


Nicole: Yeah. 'cause I believe the sale is just the byproduct of the conversations and the relationship that lead up to that. I think that's just the natural next step. So to me, the sale happens before what we actually think the sale is. A lot of people think of the sale as the transaction.


Speaker 7: Mm-hmm. 


Speaker 6: And I believe that the sale happens far before the transaction. I 


Speaker 5: totally agree. So tell us a little bit about how you [00:02:00] got here. Like what were you doing prior to this and what led you to entrepreneurship? 


Speaker 6: Well, I think like most people, uh, we can look back and see that it wasn't necessarily a straight line.


I was not designing this when I was 12 years old. Um, but I think that's the beauty of life, right? It's gonna take us in places that, um, maybe we wouldn't have planned for ourselves. And so I look back and I'm very grateful that I am where I am. Um, I started as a high school teacher and after going to college and playing basketball in college, I was like, okay, I'll be a teacher and I'll teach math 'cause I like numbers.


And I did that for 15 years. Mm-hmm. And there was a part of that competitive basketball player in me that just wanted some kind of, um, challenge, right? So after 15 years, it was great. And it was wonderful being a teacher. I wanted to challenge myself and I had a lot of friends that were in sales. It sounded like a game.


And I was like, sign me up. Like, if I win this game, I can win lots of money. Like that's what sales is. Okay. And I. [00:03:00] Very quickly, once I did take a, a job in sales, found myself feeling salesy, feeling pushy, feeling just uncomfortable with how I was being asked to do it or expected to do it. And I thought, there's gotta be a better way.


And if I were to go back to the very first sales job interview that I had, I was nervous. 'cause all I had on my resume was teacher. 


Speaker 7: Mm-hmm. 


Speaker 6: I was so worried that the guy interviewing me was gonna say that, that, Hey, you know, you're great, but you're just a teacher. You don't have experience. And it turns out he said exactly that.


Speaker 7: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So I got 


Speaker 6: to the end of the interview, he said, listen, I'm pleasantly surprised you've done an a great job. You really knocked it outta the park. However, I'm gonna have a hard time hiring you over the 89 internal people who want this position. Your resume just says, teacher, you've never sold anything.


And in that moment I was like, crap. And what came through next changed everything about how I see sales. I said, well, I. I've been selling math to high school [00:04:00] teenagers for 15 years and nobody wanted to buy that. 


Speaker 5: I love it. I love it. Mic drop moment. Right. 


Speaker 6: For, for probably him and for me. Like, and, and little did I know in that moment it was the mic drop moment.


'cause I'm like, oh, I'm onto the next round. 'cause what he said, he goes, that's good. That's actually, that's a good point. That's good. Well you got a ride along with one of my guys and I was like, yeah. And so I'm thinking, yes, I got onto the next round. But what it really taught me and still teaches me and, and what I share all the time with, with my clients is that's what sales is.


It. It's, it's not the transaction, it's the relationship. It's the rapport that we're building. None of those kids were walking in with credit cards, paying me to teach them math. They, they wouldn't have. 


Speaker 7: Mm-hmm. 


Speaker 6: However, I had to help them make a decision to get what they ultimately wanted, which was freedom, which was, you know, something outside of high school that they had their site set on.


But in order to get there, they had to pass a math class. And so I believe that a salespeople really just professional mind maker, uppers, 


Speaker 5: uh, [00:05:00] uh, or professional mind maker, uppers, professional 


Speaker 6: mind maker uppers. 


Speaker 5: I think that's what we're Right, right. Yeah. 


Speaker 6: Right. Yeah. Really we're helping somebody make up their mind to do something that they want or need to do to get to where they really want to be.


And I think that's all we're really ever doing. We're not selling somebody something. We're not convincing them. We're helping them step into the belief that what they want is possible and helping them get there. 


Speaker 5: Mm-hmm. And really overcoming those internal mindset blocks or beliefs that they have around why they, why, why they can't do this, like what's keeping them from doing that.


And. Overcoming those hurdles. Again, if it's the right thing for them to be doing, we just wanna hold their hand or gently put our hand on their back and be like, you can do this if you want. If you want the end result here, you can do this. 


Speaker 8: Right. 


Speaker 5: Wow. Yeah. That's really beautiful. And so [00:06:00] what happened when you showed up?


You got, you got hired, you went on the, you went on the ride with one of the seasoned sales professionals. You showed up on your first day of the job. And what was that environment like for you? 


Speaker 6: Well, I was very excited to be there because I'd taken a big step to do something. I switched careers after 15 years, that was a really big deal, and had really no idea if I was gonna be any good at it or not.


But was excited to try something new and challenge myself. So I walk in on day one and I sit down with this group of sales veterans who are, you know, my new sales team, and they were like, why did you leave teaching to come here? I put on my biggest Pollyanna smile and I said, because I wanna be number one in the nation.


And that definitely got me laughed outta the room. Like that was just ridiculous for me to walk in and say that. And the guy next to me goes, do you know how hard that is? And I said, no. Have you ever done it? And he said, [00:07:00] no. He said, it's a really big deal. And I was like, okay, well, where there's a will, there's a way.


And so I felt a little silly in that moment 'cause I could feel everybody looking at me like, okay. It's like you walk into the, your first day of a script read as an actor and you're like, I'm gonna win an Oscar for this role. Like it's 


Speaker 5: kind of kind of so audacious. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or back to basketball, it's like being great, A great high school athlete in basketball and being, being like, I'm gonna make it to the NBA.


I mean that's, it's a long shot, right? It's kind of for 


Speaker 6: sure. 


Speaker 5: Yeah. 


Speaker 6: Yeah, for sure. So, um, so yeah, it was definitely, um, what I tell people is like, I think I was just oblivious enough to not know how hard it should be. And so of course it was, it was hard and it was challenging and there were tears and there were things that, you know, like, so I, I did, I did become number one.


However, I just think that it was on my side that I didn't know how hard it would be. Mm-hmm. If that makes 


Speaker 5: [00:08:00] sense. Mm-hmm. A hundred percent. I feel that way around parenting. Like, I have a 7-year-old boy, and I, in hindsight, I'm like, had I known how difficult this is gonna be, I don't know if I would've done it, but I'm wouldn't change it for the world.


Glad I did it. Really glad I didn't know how hard it was gonna be. 


Speaker 6: Yeah. 


Speaker 5: So, 


Speaker 6: um, that's, that's a great point. It's like if looking back, had I known it was gonna be that hard, I don't think that that would've been my goal. I don't think I would've been excited about it. I at all. Right. 


Speaker 5: Right, right. And so what ha, what happened after that?


Like how did you make it to number one? 


Speaker 6: So, you know, it, it's interesting because it was my goal. I said I wanted to be number one in the nation. And to be honest, it was like my goal because I knew people, like, one of them was a guy that I had dated that was number one in the nation, in his company. That's all I knew is that it sounded cool.


'cause I knew people that had done it in their companies. Right. I had no idea how to do it, how to make it happen. Like we said, how hard it would be. Um, [00:09:00] I really got specific and focused on where were the opportunity. I mean, at first it was like, let me just get in the mix. Let me just get messy with it.


Let me just start trying some things out. 


Speaker 8: Yeah. And then 


Speaker 6: as I got a little bit more specific about where I was gonna be able to best serve my customers, I saw opportunities that if I focused on those, that those were gonna be like. Higher opportunity, um, better chances for me. And so I just got really specific on where I wanted to focus.


Even though I worked for a company and I had a certain target and a certain goal, I knew the type of customer that I really wanted to go after. And the more I got focused on that, um, the more those opportunities started appearing. And, um, before I knew it, I had landed a very, very huge customer. Mm-hmm.


And, um, I started the entire fiscal year off as the number one salesperson. So like from day one, I had such a giant, um, account that that was where I started the year. So it was pretty, it was pretty incredible. And then that definitely built in the opportunity for me to see [00:10:00] and do more of that same. You know, that same type of work with other customers, and then I became known for that thing.


Mm-hmm. And more customers then were coming to me saying, Hey, we want that same thing. And so I think this is just a perfect example of like in sales, when we get really specific about what we're good at and what we help people best with. Call it nicheing down calling, whatever you want. Mm-hmm. Um, we become known for that.


Mm-hmm. And that becomes a lot easier for people to understand why they wanna work with us and what can happen when they do. 


Speaker 5: And once you landed that first gig, then you have proof that you've done this before, that you can then parlay that into future conversations. So I love that you talk about getting clear on really who you wanted to help.


Right. You got really clear on that first, and then that allowed you to uncover opportunities on how you can do the this differently. So how did, how did you get clear on who that person was that you really wanted to hone in on? 


Speaker 6: Such a good [00:11:00] question because I didn't know that that was even a thing. This was long before I'd even become or thought about becoming an entrepreneur.


And so I know now as an entrepreneur, the two most important questions we can ask ourselves before we sell anything, who do you help and what do you, what problem do you solve? Right. That like, that has to be answered. And if you don't know that, you're not gonna be making sales. Right. I was still so new that, fortunately I had the veteran sales team that, um, one of them came into one of our sales meetings once with an opportunity that I didn't know was available to us, and it was a really lucrative opportunity.


And so he shared, he had gotten this new account that had this extra feature to it, and so that's how I got super specific, because he made, so our goal was $10,000 a month in new sales, or 12,000 maybe. Right. Right around there. Anyways, point being, he walked into our sales meeting with one account. That was worth $10,000 and here's me trying to get these accounts that are like a thousand dollars and $2,000.


Right? And he walks in and he's like, yeah, I got this account and they paid. [00:12:00] And I was like, what is that account? And what did you do? And what, what kind of service did you deliver? Right. And when I realized that I could get one account that would cover my entire monthly target, I was like, okay, where can I find more of those?


So that's really what stood out to me. It was like, how can I work harder, not smarter? Right. That was really it. It wasn't as specific as who do I wanna help and what problem do I solve? Then it became that. Then it was like, oh, I wanna help the people who need that service. Right. And the problem I solve is convenience, frustration, overwhelm, whatever it is that they're dealing with.


Mm-hmm. That requires them to, to, to need that. Mm-hmm. 


Speaker 8: So 


Speaker 6: that's really what it was. Somebody showed me an example and I went, wait, I can work smarter, not harder if I do that. Mm-hmm. 


Speaker 5: Donald Miller tells told me a story about when he started doing public speaking and he would charge five grand for every appearance.


Every gig that he got was five grand. And then he pitched, one time he pitched a [00:13:00] company 10 grand and they said, yeah, sure, 10 grand. Perfect. And then he kind of came back to his office and he was like, well, how about I only focus on clients that wanna pay 10 grand? I can, I can get to my goal of a hundred thousand a year.


With only 10 clients. And prior to that, you know, it was gonna take him 20 sales per year to get to his goal. So it's just such a, a, a wonderful lesson. And like you said, working smarter, not harder, and really like, how can we get to the numbers that we wanna get with actually less effort. So bigger clients.


And then once you identified like, okay, I wanna work with clients, larger ticket clients. Mm-hmm. Um, did you uncover then, did, did they have unique or different challenges that the lower ticket clients didn't have? [00:14:00] 


Speaker 6: For sure. I, it was definitely a different type of client altogether. Um, I was working in LA at a time when Silicon Valley, all of the tech companies from up north in San Francisco and Silicon Valley.


We're migrating and moving down to LA and establishing, uh, a, a location there, and it was called Silicon Beach. And so I saw that as my opportunity because I knew that those customers needed the thing that I was really good at, which basically what I was really good at and what I, you know, became the expert in, was grab and go services for break rooms.


Mm. I sold coffee to offices, which meant I sold, you know, coffee services. We put in the coffee brewer, we delivered the coffee every single month or every week or whatever. But when these customers needed extra things besides just coffee and essentials 


Speaker 8: mm-hmm. Snacks 


Speaker 6: and food, that's the higher ticket item.


And when I saw all of these companies migrating down, I was like, [00:15:00] okay. They all want what I know they have up in San Francisco. And that was the thing that I became the expert in, became known for, and not just known for the actual service of Grab and go, but my ability. So I established partnerships with vendors who could bring in the types of snacks, the healthy snacks, the specific snacks that I knew my higher ticket customers were wanting and were looking for.


Speaker 7: Mm-hmm. And 


Speaker 6: so I made my job even easier by again, conversations and establishing the right relationships with the right people. Because it wasn't just me, it was never just me. It's never just any of us. Right, right. It's always other people involved that are helping us do what we're doing. What are those relationships?


How can we strengthen those so that our job becomes even easier? So I became really close with all of my coffee vendors. I became close with the, you know, the food vendors that could help me pull in the right products. And then I was the person that was really valuable to the people who wanted those types of things in their break room, because I could pull all the strings, make it happen for them, and they didn't have to lift a finger.


Speaker 5: Right. Right. So you reduce the time, the [00:16:00] legwork, the overwhelm, the, just all the coordination of that, which is such a gift to them. Tell me, how did you communicate to them the benefit of that? So beyond just the headache of coordinating all that, like the, the downstream benefit, meaning what else were they excited about and, and how did you communicate to that, that, to them?


So like, for example, was it happier employees? What, what were some of the other things that you shared? Like, this is, this is what's possible for you? 


Speaker 6: For sure. I mean, happier employees, higher retention, like the, the, the, the benefits that we could talk to were great. Mm-hmm. What I did and what I would encourage anybody to do in a sales conversation.


Is find out why it's not okay for them to stay where they are, to keep doing what they're doing. Like sure. Everybody wants, you know, a way to attract top employees. So like if you're Facebook and you're coming [00:17:00] down from Silicon Valley to Silicon Beach, you're establishing, you know, a, a a, a location there.


You want to hire people that are the best of the best. Right. How do you incentivize them with different bonuses and benefits that you want? And, and the break room could be a big part of that. So having a fully stocked break room, having the best coffee. Yes. And what happens if you don't get that top talent?


Speaker 7: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 


Speaker 6: What happens if you keep serving the same coffee that you're serving? 


Speaker 7: Mm-hmm. 


Speaker 6: Knowing you have all of these other roles and responsibilities on a daily basis, how does it feel knowing that this extra piece of coffee and break room services also falls into your responsibilities? And that means that you don't have time to get everything else done.


So it's like, let's destroy the option of no. 


Speaker 7: Mm-hmm. 


Speaker 6: Before we try to start moving somebody into something that may very well just look aspirational to them. It looks like a nice to have. If we haven't first helped them realize that they don't wanna be where they are. And so what I would do with the person that I was meeting with quite often, they were not the top decision maker.


They were the person that was a part of the decision, but they happened to [00:18:00] be the person that was bearing the brunt of the repercussions 


Speaker 7: of 


Speaker 6: not making the decision. So I was able to help them see, and, and basically build an inside sales person, if you will. I was able to help them see the benefit of what if you don't do this differently?


What if you don't bring in these snacks? What if you aren't able to retain top employees? What if you aren't able to attract the top talent that you want? And when we, when we were able to see the consequences very clearly to not making the decision, now they have motivation to make the decision. Not just because it looks nice, but because being where they are, they've realized this isn't gonna work.


We need top talent. We need to keep the people that are, that are top on our team, right? We want people that. Uh, you know, converge in the break room and get to know each other. We wanna establish culture. That feels really good. Why? Because we know what it feels like when culture doesn't feel good, when we don't have good coffee, when we don't have happy employees, right?


So we've got a visit there before we try to take them anywhere else that looks good. 


Speaker 5: One of the most important parts of the StoryBrand framework. [00:19:00] Is stakes, right? What is gonna happen if you do nothing? If you don't do anything, you're gonna keep getting the same results that you want. And this is kind of, stakes are really the tension between success that's possible and the failure that's also possible.


Stakes are the reason. When we go into a movie, we sit down and we don't look at our phone for 90 minutes. We are fully engaged because we wanna find out if the hero is gonna succeed or if they're gonna fail. And whether you, whether it's on your website or in a sales conversation, we, we are likely to click on the call to action or say yes on a sales call.


If we know it's going to bring us success, we're even more likely to say yes if we know it's gonna help us avoid failure. And you've just totally hit the nail on the head with that one. You're really. Gently, I, I really [00:20:00] do think of this as you are the guide, right? And you are gently putting your hand on their back.


You're not being doomsday, you're not, you know, being negative, but you're gently putting your hand on, on their back and saying, if you don't do anything, you know, failure is possible and here's what that looks like and here's how I can help you avoid that failure. Does, does that resonate with you? 


Speaker 6: Yep.


Yeah. A hundred percent. I mean, I think that's, if we don't ask then who are we really? Do we really care about helping people like they have the right to refuse, right? And it's not personal, by the way. We've gotta get over that and I'll raise my hand. I'm there, I. Definitely taken it personal. I don't do this work because I've always figured it out and been perfect at it.


I do this work because I've been all over the place and I've learned a lot, and I know that objections or any kind of rejection, it's not personal. But if we don't actually go to that deeper level with that person, if we don't [00:21:00] visit that opportunity to see what the consequences might be to them not making a decision, then are we really serving them?


Are we really helping them? Because what happens a lot of times is people are like, well, I don't feel comfortable doing that. Then who are you making that about? Mm-hmm. 


Speaker 7: Mm-hmm. 


Speaker 6: You're making it about you and your discomfort, but if you took the time and put the focus and the intention into building this skillset to know how to show up to a sales conversation, to help somebody navigate through some of those challenges, to help them see, Hey, what are the consequences?


What are the stakes here? If you don't make this decision, what are the repercussions? And if you still wanna stay where you are, once we visited the repercussions, then that's probably the right decision for you. If you want some support with that and you wanna take a look at how I could help you with that, then we could talk about that too.


I'm not mad either way. Nobody's right or wrong either way. But if we don't take them down that path and help them see what might happen, if they don't make the decision, then we're not really serving them. 


Speaker 5: Oh my gosh, that is so true. Mike. Drop moment [00:22:00] right there. That's so beautiful. And I think as service providers, as coaches, as self-employed people, we're doing this work because we have the heart to help, we genuinely want to help.


And part of really serving them and showing up with a big heart is really walking down, walking them down this path. So tell me, how is your approach different? Like how do you approach sales? I wanna hear like a, a comparison be between traditional sales tactics and your approach. 


Speaker 6: So many thoughts. I, you know, like I said, when I entered corporate, the, the way that people have been selling, the way that people have been selling for hundreds of years, it just didn't feel aligned to me.


It felt very pushy. And I believe that it's about being pulley inviting people. Mm-hmm. And inviting them to take the next step. [00:23:00] And my approach has roots in sales psychology. It has a lot of roots in human connection and self-leadership. Self-leadership is a big piece of what I teach with sales, because we can only take people as far as we've gone ourselves.


Speaker 7: Mm-hmm. 


Speaker 6: And so curiosity is a big part of the sales process, and that starts with us being curious with ourselves. 


Speaker 8: Mm-hmm. 


Speaker 6: So my approach comes from, yes, self-leadership and sales psychology and human connection, but also I don't believe people should be selling things. I believe that they should be helping people make a buying decision.


Speaker 5: Mm-hmm. That's such a beautiful reframe. Um, tell, tell me before we keep going. Tell me, tell me about self-leadership. What does that even mean? 


Speaker 6: So there's a saying that a lot of people repeat in sales and it's control the controllables. Mm-hmm. There's not much in the sales process that is actually in our control.


The only thing that is [00:24:00] ultimately in our control in all of life, not just in the sales process mm-hmm. Is ourselves. 


Speaker 7: Mm-hmm. 


Speaker 6: So I believe self-leadership has everything to do with sales because who you are as a salesperson has everything to do with your intentions and your focus and the skills that you choose to build, to be a better salesperson, to be a better guide for that person who needs your help because nobody's in a conversation, regardless of what you sell.


Whether you're real estate agent, financial advisor, coach, consultant, keynote speaker, I don't care. Across the board, whatever you sell, whatever you do, somebody believes that their life will be better. On the other side of the thing that you do, our ability to help someone navigate the decision to say yes is on us.


That's on us to understand how to show up confidently and competently to those important conversations where somebody is in a position to make a decision and the worst thing we could ever do is leave them where they are. 


Speaker 7: Mm-hmm. [00:25:00] 


Speaker 6: A lot of people think no is the enemy of yes, no, and yes are both closing the deal.


Those are both good things. It's maybe land that people get stuck in and if we as salespeople are willing to leave people in maybe land, then are we really the people we claim to be, are we really there to help someone? Because to me, helping someone get clarity in their decision is really our goal. Like I said at the beginning, we are professional mind maker uppers, and sometimes that answer is yes, and sometimes that answer is no.


Speaker 7: Mm-hmm. 


Speaker 6: But if we leave somebody in maybe land, we've left them the same place they were when the conversation started. So I believe a yes and a no are equally as good. A yes probably feels a lot better to the business owner, but a no should as well. Because if we help somebody get to a no and that's their truth, then that was the right answer.


Mm-hmm. If we help somebody get to a yes and that is their truth, then that's the right answer. If we help somebody get to a yes, and they meant [00:26:00] no, eh, if we help somebody get to a no and they really wanted to say yes, eh, so to me it's about how do we stay outta maybe land and how do we help someone arrive at the thing that is truest for them?


The the decision of clarity that is truest for them. 


Speaker 5: You touched on a word that I love, which is confidence. And I know with my clients getting their story right, finding the words to really tell their most compelling story is of course very powerful to the pe, the people that they wanna reach. But what I have found this strategic invisible byproduct of the, of this work is that they're reminded of how powerful they are at solving a particular problem.


And when you really own that and you have the words, and you have on a cellular level, the knowledge around the problem that you solve and how much it matters to [00:27:00] other people, you're able to show up to these calls with such a different energy. Have you noticed that too with your, your clients 


Speaker 6: confidence sells?


Absolutely. And, and, and I could even tie that back into the self-leadership piece because if we are not showing up as our fullest, highest, best expression of ourselves, how could we possibly lead someone else to that? And that includes looking at holistically who we are and how we show up in this world.


And when I say holistically, yes, that means what are you eating? What are you fueling your body with? How are you moving your body? How are you taking care of your physical vessel so that you can show up in all areas of your life as the best version of you? And this isn't about perfection. This isn't about, you know, being like the best of the, it's literally about how am I on a daily basis leading myself so that on any given day I am making the best decisions for myself.


Because if I can't make the best decisions for myself, how can I help somebody else make the best decisions for themselves? Ugh. I love confidence is a big piece of that. And, and, and when we [00:28:00] are taking good care of ourselves, we are feeling more confident. Mm-hmm. And that confidence is truly what somebody sees.


And here's, here's the thing, and I know you know this, Kris People see a better version of themselves in us, in how we show up for them, in who we are for them. And they want to buy a better version of themselves, and I don't care, whatever it is that you sell, again, you could be a real estate agent. You are helping somebody move towards a dream or some realization of a life that they desire and they see you as being the vessel or the guide in helping them get there.


So we know at all times that our role is to help somebody see what's possible for them by showing up in the best expression of ourselves. 


Speaker 5: Oh wow. That's, that's really beautiful. Because, you know, so often we talk about the transformation that we can provide for them, like they want, they do want to become whatever that aspirational identity is that they're looking for, and they know we can solve a problem that [00:29:00] will help them get to that point.


But I think sometimes we forget that we are the physical. Representation of that potential and that possibility. And, and it's such a, it's such a powerful point. So let's get down to you and your process and your, the way you teach your clients to do this work. Let break it down for us, 


Speaker 6: we focus on conversations and because I believe everything that anybody wants is on the other side of a conversation.


Anything we want and desire in life, conversations will get us there. And so from a sales perspective, I believe that's where the most important pieces lie in us creating the outcomes that we want is showing up more powerfully and confidently to the conversations that matter. The other thing that I really focus on, and this kind of could, you know, be another piece to the question you asked earlier about like, what's my, what's my, [00:30:00] um, process I like to tell people or how am I different?


Slow, slow it down. Stop trying to get married on the first date. Too many people are going in to their conversations with one and only one outcome in mind. Make the sale that makes it black and white. Right or wrong, good or bad. It feels so, um, like a challenge that you're setting yourself up that that isn't fair to you or the other person.


So I think going in and always trying to just get married on the first date is going to have us walk away and the other person walk away not really feeling very good because we don't really like to show up on first dates and, you know, commit to the rest of our life to somebody that we're sitting in front of.


Have a glass of wine, have some appetizers, slow it down. And what it actually does is it speeds up the process because when we slow it down, we don't come across as salesy. We come across as curious. We come across as caring about the other [00:31:00] person, and we come across as somebody that they can trust. And when they start to feel safe in our presence, when they start to feel like we have their best interest in mind, when they start to feel like we understand them, then it's a lot more likely that they're going to want to take steps forward with us.


The only way we can do that is to slow it down because trust isn't built overnight. It's built over time. Mm-hmm. So I think that's a big piece of our approach to conversations. It has to be how do we slow it down so that what we're actually doing is guiding somebody else through making the decision.


We're guiding them through the process. We are showing up as a professional mind maker, upper, um, and if we were getting to the nitty gritty of it, like one of the things that I have on my clients do is we've got conversations every single day that we need to be starting so that we're always moving people through our ecosystem.


Like, we don't wanna be in a place where it's feast or famine, where we've got some deals and then we've got nothing going on. We wanna always be in conversations. And the real goal is not to put periods and exclamation points at the end of the sentences. [00:32:00] It's how do we put commas and dashes so that those conversations are continuing?


Because not everybody's gonna be in a position to buy. There are now buyers, there are soon buyers, and there are later buyers. And if we are always only trying to get married on the first date, those are those now buyers. We're missing out on the soon buyers and the later buyers. Mm-hmm. And when it is time for them to make a decision to buy, don't we still wanna be front of mind?


Don't we wanna be the person that they're still gonna turn to? So we've gotta stop always trying to go after the sale. I believe making the customer is more valuable than making the sale. Mm-hmm. 


Speaker 7: Mm-hmm. 


Speaker 6: And, and, and all I mean by that is once you get a customer. They're a customer who will repeatedly buy from you versus doing what it takes to get a sale.


And then maybe that person never revisits you again, or never buys anything additionally from you again. So it's really about how do we slow it down? How do we show the other person that we know them, how do we build the rapport so that what we're actually doing is building a [00:33:00] relationship with somebody who sees value in what we can do, because we've helped them recognize what they want and how they wanna do it.


Speaker 5: Mm-hmm. So on a tangible level, how do you, how do you slow things down? Like if, if someone's listening today and they're like, okay, I've, I'm on board, like I wanna slow things down. How do I do that? 


Speaker 6: Can you think of a, a specific example? 'cause I think that usually helps, let's say that somebody is in a sales conversation and, well, I'll give an example.


I had a company recently who wanted to hire me to do a 12 month sales training program. And sure. It would've been cool to be like, Hey, let's, let's land that deal right now. Like, let's, let's capture the whole thing. But that's a big commitment. That's a big chunk. And how do I know that I wanna be working with them for 12 months?


Right? How do they know they wanna be working with me for 12 months? And [00:34:00] so I thought, okay, what's a way that I could design a meaningful next step for us to take together? 


Speaker 7: Mm-hmm. 


Speaker 6: It will give some immediate value that will allow me to get to know them better, them to get to know me better. We can establish some buy-in and it will still deliver some quick wins because anything I present is still gonna be valuable.


And so what I presented is a, my version of, let's slow this down and let's start with this. Let's do this piece. Then that will give us further direction on what's going to make sense moving forward and make sure that we all have buy-in from the key stakeholders, that we all feel like this is the right fit moving forward for a longer term engagement that was an easier yes for them.


It builds the foundation for any future work that we do and allows both of us to say, Hey, is this right for us? Is this right to keep moving forward? And if, you know, we were to look at it from like, let's say a coach perspective. 'cause I work with a lot of coaches. [00:35:00] If you've got somebody, let's say you have a signature program and you've got somebody who's interested in your six month signature program and they're like, okay, um, I really wanna do this, you know, I need to talk to my husband.


Or you know, it feels like a big commitment for six months. And well what if you had something that was a little bit more bite-size that would give them an experience of trying before they buy, if you will. Now, obviously they can, you know, it's still a paid product, they're gonna pay you for it. But maybe you've got, instead of the six month signature program, a 90 minute intensive.


You can dial it down to one specific thing that you can work on in those 90 minutes together, you can deliver some quick wins because of course you can, in 90 minutes, if you're super focused on something, you're gonna help them create a quick win, create some feeling of value, and then they will come back for more if they really felt connected and they really got the value from it.


Mm-hmm. And you can do all kinds of, I mean, we, we don't wanna get too tactical here, but you could do all kinds of different things to incentivize them to keep moving. But, and, and listen, if somebody's ready to take the six month jump, then do it. I'm not, I'm not saying don't. Right. If it feels like the [00:36:00] right fit and it's the right time for everybody, but I believe slowing things down benefits everybody.


And what it actually does is it speeds things up because it makes people feel like you really have their back. You really care about them. You're not just trying to sell them something just to make a sale. You're like, let's just take it slow. Like, we're good. If you need more after that, then we'll talk about what more looks like.


If this is enough for you right now, then great. Then you got what you needed. And, and everybody's happy. And I think that that's what it is. It's not about selling them what we want. It's selling them what is best in the moment and will help continue that relationship so that they can get what they need.


And if it's longer term, then you'll talk about longer term and what that looks like. 


Speaker 5: Right? Right. It really does always come back to the metaphor of dating, doesn't it? Like you, you go on one date, then you're like, okay, let's go on another date. Yes. And then eventually you're like, let's not date anybody else.


Let's just date each other. Yes. And, and I think it's such a, um, such a kind way to kind [00:37:00] of show up with that helpful heart. You genuine, genuinely want to help. And so you don't have to dive into the big, big ticket item yet. Let's make everyone feel safe. And you're right, trust is built over time. So if you can help them in that 90 minute intensive, solve some.


Significant problems, not the, the hugest problems. Right. But they get to, on a body level, they get to experience the, they get to experience what it's like for you to help them solve a mini problem. So then they very easily can then commit if they're comfortable to a more macro problem. That's it. So that's 


Speaker 6: it.


Well, and I love your analogy of the dating thing there too. It's like, if you met somebody that you were attracted to and on that very first day that you met them, they were like, Hey, I really like you. Let's be boyfriend and girlfriend. Like, let's commit together. You'd be like, what? [00:38:00] Gimme something to look forward to.


Like, can we go on a first date? Can we like, you know, have some fun together, right? And to your, you go on a date, and then what happens after that first date? If it's a good fit and you had fun, you're like, can't wait for the second date. Right? And now you're excited about the second date. But if you jump right in to like, Hey, let's be boyfriend and girlfriend for the next six months, like right.


Ah, that feels like a lot. I don't know. Yeah. And, and the scheme is true in a sales conversation. Can we find a way to date a couple of times to where we're both looking forward to the next, and then it's easy to commit to something long term because now we both know we want it. 


Speaker 5: Mm-hmm. Yeah. And, and not only that, that we don't, we not only want it, but we're really excited about it.


Right. That's what we want. I had a client the other day tell me that she went to bed feeling giddy about the, the possibility of us working together. And I just, I, that just delighted me. That's what I want people to feel giddy about it. Now, you don't want them to feel [00:39:00] like, Ooh, I'm nervous, or did I do the right thing?


Hopefully fingers, fingers crossed. Right? You don't want them to be in that position because. They're gonna show up with different energy too. Like they might be so worried about the investment that they've made, that they're gonna start looking for holes in what you're delivering and that nobody's going to win in that scenario at all.


Right. 


Speaker 6: Well, 'cause where's their focus too? Their focus isn't actually on the results that you're helping them create. They're in fear, they're scared, they're questioning their decision. They're looking for holes, to your point, and they're showing up different ener differently energetically. And then are you actually helping them with what you are meant to be helping them with?


So yeah, I think that's a really, really great point. 


Speaker 5: A lot of the coaches that I work with and consultants and service providers, they, they love the work they do. They're excited to get their messaging dialed in. [00:40:00] They're ready for a more compelling story that's gonna be really working for them to get them more clients.


But they hate the sales part of it all. They dread it, it makes them feel icky. Um, and it, and it might just be be because they don't feel they don't like selling, right? But it could also be around money mindset stuff. When I share that with you, like what comes to mind around how can we transform our mindset around this type of thing, where we're actually excited to get on these calls.


Speaker 6: Yeah. It's interesting, isn't it? Because we all claim to wanna be helpers of people. We care about people. We're good at what we're good at because. We enjoy it and we're good at it, and we wanna help others because maybe they don't wanna do it themselves or they're not as good at it. And then a little bit of discomfort gets inserted into the conversation and we're like, I feel sales, I feel pushy, [00:41:00] and we all of a sudden are like turning our back.


It's like, wait, aren't you the person who said you really cared about helping people? Like what? Until things get uncomfortable, and then because it's uncomfortable for you, you're gonna like turn the other way. To me, it's like if we really care about helping people, selling really is serving, and if we're not wanting to do it because it feels uncomfortable to us, then who are we making it about?


When people are like, I feel salesy. I'm like, how do you think that person feels who's in pain? Because they can't figure out how to do the thing that they need to do that you happen to be really good at. You could do easily or even in your sleep because you're so damn good at it and this person needs help with it because you are so uncomfortable with asking them if they need help.


You're not gonna ask 'em if they need help. And usually, to your point Kris it comes down to there's some discomfort around money. 'cause people are like, well, I would help people for free. Therein is our answer to what the hurdle is. There's a [00:42:00] money wonkiness there. And listen, money's the biggest story on the planet.


We all have our own wonky relationships and you know, in ways with it. But let's not let that be the reason that gets in the way of us helping people. And for the people who are like, well, I don't like taking people's money, then stop freaking taking their money. What do you mean taking their money?


You're not giving them any anything in return. There's nothing that you're showing up energetically exchanging for the exchange of their money. So they're giving you money for what? Because you're a con artist. Like what You know and people are No, no, no. I have then start seeing it like that. Then start seeing it like that.


And for the people that it's not valuable for quit begging for their validation. I think we get so caught up in not worrying about finding the right people. We're worrying about finding everybody and anybody. 'cause we've got lack and scarcity in our mindset. And the second that somebody tells us that they can't afford it, we make it about us.


We make it wrong. We make it this thing that like, oh, it feels uncomfortable asking. What if they're just not the right person? Because if somebody right now came [00:43:00] to me and they were like, Hey, I've got this $2,000 ticket to a NASCAR race, do you want it? I'd be like, no, I, I don't even think I'd take it for free.


I wouldn't. Not only would I not pay you $2,000 for it, I'm pretty darn unsure. I wouldn't take it for free unless John Mayer was sitting right next to me at the NASCAR race. I don't think that there's any value in that ticket for me, but there's plenty of people who would probably pay six for it, depending on the race.


I don't know enough about NASCAR to tell you what the races are, but that doesn't mean that that ticket isn't valuable. It just means I'm not the right person for the ticket. And I think we get too caught up in believing the wrong people for our stuff, what they're telling us about our stuff. We're believing feedback from people who it isn't actually even valuable for, instead of saying so hyperfocused on the people that, and, and this goes back to our original conversation, Kris who do you help and what problem do you solve for them?


Because if you're trying to help everybody with everything, you're helping nobody with anything. [00:44:00] And if anybody's questioning like that right now, let me ask you a question. If you are in the kitchen and you are cooking something and you need to open up a can, what tool are you looking for? The can opener.


The can opener. What are you not looking for? The Swiss Army knife. Ooh, you're not, because it doesn't stick in your mind that, Ooh, a Swiss army knife would be good. Could it do the job? Sure. But don't we want the thing that does the job the best? 


Speaker 5: I'm just laughing because this is so profound. This is such good learning, and I'm just so grateful that you're like using these beautiful metaphors that allow us to really understand this so tangibly.


So thank you. Yes. That's what we want. We want the damn can opener. 


Speaker 6: Gimme the thing that specializes in the very thing that I'm trying to do. Like if I need to [00:45:00] do my taxes, I'm not just trying to find somebody who knows spreadsheets and is good with numbers. Like I actually want a CPA who knows the laws, who's going to do it because they are the best at doing it and.


I think it's really easy to see in our own lives in areas of like, if your kid wanted to play soccer, would you just hire any coach or would you hire a soccer coach? 


Speaker 5: Right? 


Speaker 6: Right. When you start looking at that, it's like, oh, if, if I want a really good steak, am I gonna go to an Italian restaurant? No, I'm gonna go to a steak restaurant.


Right? So where are we selling ourselves Short. Literally, because we're trying to be the jack of all trades. We're trying to be the Swiss Army knife, and when you try to be everything to everybody, you end up being nothing to nobody because you're not known for the thing that you do really well. And you know, that can come from a lot of different places.


I would say it comes from lack, from scarcity, just from lack of knowledge and understanding of what you're actually doing when you run a business and you're helping a certain group of people with a certain problem that you help them solve. 


Speaker 5: What, tell me what you hear, because I hear [00:46:00] this a lot. Like clients are like, I really wanna be charging $5,000 for what I do.


I mean, what the problem I solve is really important. It hugely benefits them, but right now I'm charging, uh, 4 97 and even the 4 97 people aren't, aren't willing to buy. Like, I'm getting turned down a lot at the, even the lower rates. So how could I possibly increase my rates? 


Speaker 6: You can't, until you get around different people.


I, I would say that's probably one of the, and and again, we're not here to diagnose necessarily, but I would say that could potentially be part of it. Or maybe you're just not articulating your value, maybe you're not asking the right questions. You know, there, there's, it could be a lot of things, but I would say more than likely you're not talking to the right people who value it at $5,000.


If I went over to the Honda dealership and I was trying to sell $150,000 car, I'm probably [00:47:00] not gonna do a very good job to the customers that are walking into Honda, because they're a different type of customer. They're not wrong, they're not bad, they're not poor, there's nothing. But they are looking for a different type of solution.


Probably more practicality and functionality than maybe what $150,000 Mercedes might be. 


Speaker 7: Mm-hmm. 


Speaker 6: That doesn't mean the Mercedes isn't valuable. It doesn't mean that there aren't plenty of people paying full price for Mercedes because they are. So if you're shopping around something to people who are looking in a very different way at a solution, and your solution maybe is higher touch, higher value, then are you talking to the right people?


That would be my first question. Do you know who the people that you serve are and what problem you help them with? Because the majority of the time, the people who want to sell a $5,000 product and are selling it or not selling it for 4 97, still have not gotten [00:48:00] complete clarity on who they help and how they help them.


Speaker 5: So let's get a little bit more tangible here for a minute. Um, when you get on a call with a potential client, or how do you coach your clients when they get on a call, how do they navigate that call? 


Speaker 6: Like if they're getting on a sales call, 


Speaker 5: if they're getting on a 


Speaker 6: sales call. So I have a template that, you know, happy to give away to anybody who's listening.


Um, it's nine steps. It's really simple. So I would recommend, first and foremost, if there's any conversation that you're getting into that you have a plan. The worst time to think about what you're gonna say is the moment you're saying it. So if you're waiting, here's what a lot of people do. They, they've got the hope, wish and pray method, and it's a method.


I can't say it's super effective, but that's one way to do it, the hope, wish, and pray. And they're like, well, I'm good at talking and I'm good at, you know, conversations and people like me. So it, it's literally like, I just hope they're there to say yes. It's pretty much, you know, what people are doing. So I would [00:49:00] first definitely have a plan, and that means you've gotta do the work before the work.


That means there's some pre-briefing that means that, you know, there's so many different things that we could look at, like, are you shooting for different levels of success? Do you have a plan for different ways that the conversation might go so that you're not making up on the spot? Like, I don't know, they just said this.


What do I do now? You've gotta think ahead of time, what might come up? What if they say no? What am I gonna be prepared for? What am I gonna have planned? What questions might I wanna ask to uncover the context that's gonna help all of us get more clarity in what would be the right decision. If you're not putting time and effort into that ahead of the conversation, then you're probably cutting yourself off from opportunity without even realizing.


If you put a little bit of time in and had a little bit of a more solid plan and some questions to ask, the conversation is gonna more likely go in your favor just because you did a pre-brief, you did the work before the work. So I would definitely have a plan. I would definitely make sure that like, regardless of what the outcome is, that you [00:50:00] have next steps in place so that you're in control of the conversation.


The person in control of the conversation is the person asking the questions. So I would have some questions prepared, and I think the most important, because those were a lot of tactical things just from a mindset and a really, really important point of view. Be unattached to the outcome. 


Speaker 7: Mm-hmm. 


Speaker 6: Like release any attachment to the outcome of the conversation.


Sure. You can. You can want to move forward, you can want to be able to help that person, but what the only outcome that I think we should ever attach to is reaching the point of the highest and best good for everybody on the conversation. Mm-hmm. And sometimes that's, yes, we move forward and sometimes that's, no, this isn't right, right now.


But ultimately that's the outcome that we want, is what's the best and highest good for everybody in this conversation. And that's the only thing I wanna attach to. Because if we get too attached to, I want them to say yes. I want them to say yes, we're making that about us. And if we get too attached to, well, I don't care.


They can say no. They can say [00:51:00] whatever. We don't wanna be careless about it. Ultimately, we wanna show up not attached to the outcome, ready to guide the call. We've done the work, we've planned our questions. We know different outcomes that might come up, and we're gonna show up confidently because we've done what we needed to do that day.


Whether it's move our body, take care of ourselves, fuel ourselves in the right way, so that we are at the highest expression of ourselves and feeling the best. 


Speaker 5: Oh my gosh. If you had a church I would attend. Yeah. Preaching. I love this so much. I, I really love, um, this idea and I, and I coach my clients in this way 'cause we definitely talk about how to navigate sales calls and I love taking the pressure off of them to do a lot of talking.


Right. It's if you should be the one asking questions and guiding the call, but the, the potential client is really the one doing all the talking. And I think often our potential [00:52:00] clients, they've been marinating in this problem for so long that. They've kind of gotten used to it. It's like that frog in boiling water.


And so it can be really powerful to ask the right questions that really remind them of the struggle and remind them of the frustrations that they have in their words. And, and back to what you said, you really get to uncover, like you allow them to uncover the reality of this situation. What, what they don't like, maybe some things that they do like, or what's important, where do they ultimately wanna be?


And not so much features and benefits of what you can offer them, but what do they want their life to look like after this problem is solved? Let's, as the guide of the call, remind them of what's possible. Because often, again, they've been maring in, in this problem. [00:53:00] Often they forget. They forget, number one, how annoying this problem is.


And they also forget at what around what's, they forget what's possible for them on the other side of this. And even just allowing them to r the room to really share and connect and uncover that for themselves or refresh that in their own mind allows them to get to that decision of, yes, this is really important for me to move forward.


Or No, it's not. Either way, it's, it's truly a win because like you said, it's what is best for all. What is best for them is what is best for you. And, and also I, I like, uh, going into these calls with also a mindset, mindset shift around. You are interviewing them as much as they're interviewing [00:54:00] you, right?


You need to make sure that they're the type of client that you wanna be pouring your heart into and, and truly helping. Do they, are they sharing things about themselves that, you know, you would be delighted to be working with them over a period of time so that that can also help shift the energy around how these calls feel?


Speaker 6: Yep. I think that's one of the most important pieces is you're not there to be chosen. Let's stop showing up as if we're auditioning. This isn't a one-sided conversation. You're not doing anything wrong by selling something. You're not hurting them by selling something. You're giving them an opportunity, uh, to, to refuse or to say yes.


And to your point, Kris people have normalized their pain. The frog in the hot water is a perfect example. They have normalized their pain and they have surrounded themselves with ways to justify and keep going through life. [00:55:00] And if we don't help them see the repercussions, the consequences to staying where they are, then why they don't have a reason to move.


So we do need to take them there and help them realize, Hey, like you've normalized this, but here's what's going on. And helping them move through the decision of whether this is the right time or not. Or maybe they're okay with staying where they are, but I think when we try to convince somebody because we're trying to get chosen or we're trying to make a sale again, we're making it about us.


We've gotta release the attachment to the outcome. And the idea, again, can you imagine going on a date and being like, I hope he chooses me. I hope he chooses me. Like, no, no, no, no. I'm here to choose. Also, this is a two-way street. We're gonna find out if this is best for both of us and that other person that you're gonna sell something to potentially.


Deserves to have the version of you that isn't just saying yes, 'cause you need the money, but because you legit, to your point Kris you're so excited about something that they said or some way that you know that your work is going to make their life better and [00:56:00] they deserve somebody who's just as, as excited about working with them as they are about working with you.


And that is when I believe the highest good happens is that energetic exchange. Both people are there 'cause they wanna be there, they're not there because they're poking holes or they're in fear. They're like, I wish I hadn't said yes. And you're not there because you're like, God, I just took this person 'cause I needed a client and I needed to pay my rent this month.


Like, no, we're all here on our highest good. We're here because this is the right and highest best for everybody. 


Speaker 5: Hmm. So beautiful. I wanna tell you about, um, when I initially developed and created my signature offer, I was charging a certain amount of money, um, and. I, I felt good charging that initially, um, because I was still feeling, feeling out like my process and my system and how is this gonna be working for everybody.


And over time I refined [00:57:00] it, refined it worked with more and more clients and I got to a point where I felt like the value that I was delivering was way beyond what I was charging. And I started to have this feeling of. Like, I was always delighted when I got a client, but I al, I al also felt like, oh, this is gonna be a lot of work.


Because I was, I was overdelivering and I was developing the offer in a way where I was, I knew how to continue to add more and more and more value. And so I got to this point where I decided to nearly double my rates and I did, and I got on my first sales call at the new rate. And Wow. Um, I was uncomfortable.


The gymnastics that I was doing the, uh, offering a [00:58:00] discount, throwing in more free things, validate, trying to validate this new price. And I, I share this because now that's the price. That you know of the offer, and it is truly an investment that they're making in their business. And I know through and through the value of it, I honestly think it's worth way more than, than, um, what it is right now.


But every time I get a client now, I'm like, yes, this feels good to me. I feel very compensated for the, the work that I'm doing and the value that I'm bringing. And I, I no longer do the gymnastics or have the discomfort, but I just wanna share like I. When you make these changes, um, whatever it is, when you're making changes in how you navigate your calls or how you price your services, it can feel very uncomfortable.


And it took me a handful of calls to [00:59:00] really show up with that same level of confidence that I had prior to the, the price change. And so I just share that because it's messy no matter who you are. And there's like this, when you stretch outta your comfort zone, it's always gonna feel a little funky. And that's totally, totally okay.


You can keep, keep going it going, keep going. And just know eventually three or four or more calls and you're gonna be, you're gonna be fine. 


Speaker 6: Yep. That's such a good point that you bring up. It's, it's. Uncomfortable. It's wonky. It, I would definitely encourage people to get some practice so that there's like low risk, high reward opportunities.


Like even now, I mean, I'm, I'm a sales coach. I teach people this. If I have a big conversation coming up, I have my friend, she and I do this for each other. Hey, when do you have time this week to do some role play? And you better believe I go through the entire conversation and she plays the part of the other person [01:00:00] and then I do the same for her.


Why would we leave it to chance in any other way? Like there wasn't a time as a basketball player that I did not have a practice or a scrimmage or something else before the game. So that I knew for a fact I was prepared. I had put myself to the test in so many different ways leading up to the game. Why are we not doing that with our important conversations?


So yeah, we wanna make sure, because especially when we're doing things like raising our prices, um, I remember years ago I. I was selling, I, I really wanted to leave my corporate job. And so my coach helped me come up with this plan and she was like, how many clients do you need to feel comfortable leaving?


And I said, 10. And she said, okay, then go get 10 clients. So I made this giant Post-it note that said 10 clients to Freedom. I had 10 blanks on it. And I sold my coaching packages for $2,500. I filled up 10 and like I think a month. And because I was very determined, I was very focused. That's the power of getting really intentional about something, right?


Specificity, like I knew these were the 10 and it was attached to my freedom. That's why I wrote it that way. It was 10 clients to freedom. And I knew once I got [01:01:00] those 10 clients, that I would let myself leave my job and give my notice. And my mindset coach was like, okay, now that you got those 10, like if you just sold 10 packages of 2,500, it's time for you to up your rates.


And I was like, what? But like I just got really good at doing this. Yeah. And then I did, and I sold five more immediately. 


Speaker 8: Wow. And 


Speaker 6: she said, okay, that's another sign. Like basically she was kind of, as I was going through, she's like, that's another sign. Supply and demand. It's basic business 1 0 1. Right, right.


Energetically, I still had to build myself up each time I did that. And that happened over a course of three months and I tripled my rates over those three months. But to your point, it was not easy. It was still uncomfortable. And fortunately I had some momentum built, which I would say there's a lot to be said for building momentum, being very clear on who you serve, how you serve them, building community, giving people a place to belong, and then building up the excitement around it.


And that doesn't mean that we still don't have to do our work. So here I was in the background building up my own ability to [01:02:00] show up and say the new price, which felt very scary. And to your point, it was like, let me just like throw a bunch of extra bonuses in there because I'm gonna prove that it's worth it.


Right. Them, they don't know the difference from one price or another. It's just, here's my price. Regardless of whether we're throwing a million bonuses in there or not. So it, it is still a challenge, but that's part of the reason why this is a skillset that we have to continually work on. 


Speaker 5: It's a muscle for sure.


And, and I think one of the greatest points that you just made was the power of having a coach. I would never have increased my rates had I not been working with a coach. And You too. 'cause we get comfortable there. We're like, this is fine. This is fine. Yeah. And people like it. Okay. Here I, but the coaching, like we have to have that when we are, when we're in our own business and we're trying to make changes, it's really hard when we don't have an outside guide or outside [01:03:00] perspective, we're in that bottle trying to read the label.


That can only be read from outside. And that is the importance of having a coach and also having the reassurance and the validation that it's okay to charge more. That it's worth it. Yep. It's valuable. We need, we just need that as humans, and I want that for every. Every, uh, self-employed person on the planet, we, we all need coaches.


So we, we are, uh, about to wrap up. Um, and I wanted to end our conversation with a quick story about a client that you've worked with and where did they come, where were they at when they came to you, and what did you change and what kind of results did they get? 


Speaker 6: Well, the one that popped in my mind was one that just happened last week.


Um, she's a private client of mine and she has been through some of my workshops over the last like year and a half and decided [01:04:00] to really do what we're talking about right now, get serious with herself, make an investment, and get out of her comfort zone. And she had had six months of just minimal sales and, and mostly dry spells.


And we started working together about four weeks ago. Last week she signed over six figures in contracts. Wow. Yeah. And in one week, and it wasn't by accident, she got very intentional. She's extremely coachable. She is very focused on what she knows, the areas that she knows that she has to improve. She does role play with me.


She writes her scripts out. She's just gotten so specific and focused and intentional in the areas that she knows that she has improvement and opportunity. And it wasn't, I mean, she sent me a message and she was like, oh my gosh, Nicole, I just signed over six figures in contracts this week. And I said, well, tell me what does it feel like?


First of all, what are you doing to [01:05:00] celebrate and what is different? And she said, hiring a coach. Just my energy, just in and of itself, investing in myself. Started to shift things in me. When we make investments in ourselves, we valued our ourselves at a higher level. We, we think of ourselves as, wow, I, I, I like myself that much.


I believe in myself that much, that I'm going to invest this much in myself. Like the belief that you have to have in yourself to make a decision like that should not go unmentioned. Like there's a lot to be said when we take a step like that, that immediately starts to shift even without like the specific tangible things that the coach is gonna teach you.


Mm-hmm. Just the act of making the investment and saying yes to yourself and saying yes to the support. Especially as women, we tend to deny ourselves what we actually need. And so that was her fir her number one thing. She said, you know, of course I'm focusing more on my conversations. I'm getting better at them, but just the act of saying yes and putting myself in a different energy, um, after six months of nothing, [01:06:00] six figures in contracts.


Speaker 5: Incredible, incredible. Nicole it has been such an epic hour with you. I can't even tell you it, it went by in like, felt like 15 minutes. Um, thank you so much for all the wisdom, all the fun, all the stories, all the metaphors. It was just such a tangible way to learn how to approach this differently and it's so relevant to all of us as service providers.


So thank you. Thank you. Where can people find you if they want more of? What? If they want more of the Church of Nicole 


Speaker 6: where can we find you? The Sales Church of Nicole I like it. That's the first time I've ever gotten that. Kris I'm gonna take and run with it. The Church of Nicole can be found on Instagram at the Nicole Kramer.


Um, and anybody who would like to have my Discovery Call template that I mentioned earlier, happy to share that with you. Just send me a DM and let me know that you heard, uh, Kris and i's conversation and, uh, be happy to share that with you and, and help you through anything else that's going on in your world.


Speaker 5: We will [01:07:00] definitely put that freebie in the show notes so you can see it down there too. So thank you so much. 


Speaker 6: Thank you, Kris


Kris: Is your website turning away Potential clients? I can help you turn that around. Book a moneymaking messaging call with me today and we'll transform your story into your most powerful sales tool. That's all for this episode of From Click to Client. Don't forget to subscribe and follow. I'm Chris Jones and I'll see you next time.